


All Things Bright and Beautiful

by SilverWolf2776



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:15:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 42,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1456822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf2776/pseuds/SilverWolf2776
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow finds a way to remove Spike's chip and angers the Initiative who retaliate...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everything BTVS belongs to Joss, I am just borrowing them for a short time.
> 
> This was a story written in early 2001 which I recently unearthed and decided to rework. Then I decided to post it here. Comments are always welcome!

**All Things Bright and Beautiful**

 

The small white rat peered through the glass of her cage at the red-haired girl talking to her.

“I bought you something today Amy. I hope you like it.” Willow slid the screen lid open and placed Amy’s present inside. “I remembered that you used to jog before school every morning so I thought maybe you’d like this." Amy, the rat, looked at the gleaming new hamster wheel that Willow had just placed on the cedar shavings. She trotted over sniffing curiously. Satisfied she stepped into it and began running enthusiastically. Willow smiled at her and slid the lid closed. “I bought myself something too. It’s a new book…see?” She held the book up so the rat could see the title **Shapechanging through the Ages**. The rat squeaked in terror, leapt off the wheel and buried herself under the cedar shavings in the corner. Willow made shushing movements with her hands. “I know I promised I wouldn’t do any more spells. And I won’t. I just thought maybe something in here would tell us how to fix you. Then Giles could do it…or Tara.” The rat poked its head out of the shavings and gave a small squeak. “I promise, no more spells.” Willow placed her hand over her heart. Amy came out of hiding and went back to running on her wheel.

Willow placed the book on her desk next to her laptop. She glanced at her watch and sighed. “It’ll have to wait though. Meeting at Giles’. Research girl time.” She grabbed her new leather coat and headed for the door. Right on cue there was a rapping from the other side.

“You decent, luv’?”

Willow opened the door and grinned at the bleached blond vampire leaning against the door jamb arms crossed over his chest.

“And if I wasn’t?”

“Bloody hell luv I’d break the door down to get at you.” Spike leered, straightening up and taking her jacket from her. “Then I would ravish you,” He held the jacket for her to slip her arms into. “And leave your drained body across the Slayer’s bed as a token of my great affection.” He spun her towards him and zipped her jacket for her. “It’s cold out tonight. You’ll need that.”

“You threaten to drain me, then you tell me to put my jacket on cause it’s cold? Thanks Mom.” Willow giggled. She started down the hall towards the exit. “Coming?”

“Oh, was that foreplay pet?”

“You…you…” Willow blushed the same color as her hair. Spike raised an eyebrow at her as he held the door open for her.

“Was it something I said?”

\-------------------------------

“Ugh, my hair is sticky.” Buffy pulled a honey blond strand forward and glared at it. “Why didn’t you tell me he was going to explode into…into..”

“Goo.” Xander supplied examining Buffy’s hair.

“Possibly because I didn’t know that he was going to explode into ‘goo’ anymore than I knew that he was even here. Of course if a certain Slayer would keep me more informed perhaps I would be able to warn her when her opponents were going to decompose into a ectoplasmic state.” Giles muttered as he fished for towels in his linen closet.

“What? Ecto..huh?” Buffy looked up from trying to pull her shirt away from her body.

“Goo.” Xander supplied again.

“Yes, quite. Perhaps you should take a shower Buffy while Xander tells me about your…um…encounter.” Giles handed the sticky Slayer some towels. Buffy grabbed them and flounced up the stairs to the bathroom. The door slammed and then there was the sound of running water and muffled grumbling as the Slayer peeled off her ruined clothing.

“So then…Xander,” The ex-watcher began trailing behind the boy as he went in search of food. “Where did you find this…err…creature.”

“Cemetery.” Xander stuffed a handful of cheese doodles into his mouth and collapsed onto the leather couch in the den. Giles took the swivel desk chair next to the desk where he had been looking through some books before Buffy had returned from patrol.

“Which cemetery, there are currently nineteen that Buffy makes rounds through.” Giles forced himself to remain patient as Xander picked up the remote from the oak coffee table and flipped on the TV.

“Everlasting Peace.” Xander hit the DTV button and watched as the screen guide came up displaying all 600 channels.

“And…” Giles ground out through gritted teeth. < It is a wonder that the boy’s mind hasn’t completely disintegrated with the amount of ‘boob tube’ he watches. >

“Huh? What?” Xander turned the TV to Monday Night Nitro.

“What. Did. He. Look. Like?” Giles enunciated clearly over the grunts and thuds that accompanied Xander’s professional wrestling viewing choice.

“Mph. Tall. Dark. Ugly.” Xander mumbled around another mouthful of munchies.

Giles sighed and removed his glasses realizing that he would have to wait for Buffy if he was to get an accurate report of the incident. He turned back to the books on the desk. _< Perhaps I can finish the section on that Fungus demon that Spike mentioned._ > He winced at the sound of a metal chair striking someone on the back and Xander’s immediate cheer. < _In the kitchen_.  >

\---------------------------

“Mmmphh.”

“What?!” Willow turned to stare at the vampire beside her.

“Sorry luv, got your hair in my mouth. I said: no, I haven’t known any shapechangers in the last 126 years. I seem to remember something about Dru wanting to be a bird once,” he frowned trying to capture the memory. “I think she even started looking for a spell. “

“Did she find one?” Willow asked trying to pull her hair into ponytail. Now that the wind had picked up it was flying everywhere.

“Angelus stopped her. Said it wouldn’t work, he didn’t want her to fly away from her ‘daddy’.” Spike’s lips twisted at the memory. He shrugged. “Sorry I couldn’t help pet.”

“Why did she want to?” Willow asked.

“What luv?”

“Drusilla. Why did she want to be a bird?”

“Oh, so she could fly up and talk to the stars.” Spike pulled his leather duster tighter around his lean frame as the wind once again tore at it. “Cor. There’s going to be a storm luv. Might want to jog a bit.” As if to emphasize his warning the first fat drops of rain hit the pavement.

Witch and vampire sprinted for cover.

\-------------------------

Giles jumped as his front door banged open.

“Watcher! You got any towels ‘round this bloody place?” Spike’s voice came from the front hall. Giles headed for the linen closet again.

Xander looked over the back of the couch into the front hall. “What happened to you two?” He asked noticing the definitely damp state of Willow and Spike.

“Got caught in the rain.” Willow said shaking her hair out.

“Hell luv, I’m wet enough as it is!” Spike yelped trying to duck the water flying at him.

“Sorry.” Willow grinned up at him through the curtain of her hair.

“Like hell you are. This is about that crack at the dorm isn’t it?”

“Payback’s a bitch.”

“And so are y…” The towel hit Spike in the face cutting off whatever he was about to say.

“Oh. Sorry about that Spike. Here you are Willow.” Giles came around the corner and handed Willow his last clean towel. < _Must do laundry in the morning_.  >

“Hmph.” Spike toweled off his hair and shed his duster hanging it on the coat rack by the door. His red silk shirt and black jeans hadn’t gotten very wet thanks to the coverage of his coat. He joined Xander in the den where they resuscitated the weekly argument about Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Big Sexy Kevin Nash and who could kick whose butt.

“As soon as Buffy is done with her shower I think I will need your assistance on that infernal contraption over there.” Giles waved a hand to the corner of the room where the computer sat.

Willow finished wringing out her hair and nodded. “Shower?” She raised an eyebrow at the ex-Watcher.

“She had a run-in with a demon who, when killed, transformed into an ectop…”

“Goo.” Xander called from the other room.

“Quite. A ‘puddle of goo’ according to your young friend in there. Buffy was coated in the substance and so I suggested that she make use of the facilities before you arrived.” Giles adjusted his glasses.

The upstairs bathroom door opened and a much cleaner Buffy emerged wearing her work out sweats.

“Ah, Buffy. Now perhaps you could give me a description of your opponent?”

“Sure Giles. He was tall and had these little silver specks all over his skin.“ Buffy reported as she came down the stairs. “Hi Will. New coat?” She glanced at the burgundy leather jacket Willow was hanging next to Spike’s duster.

“Hi Buff. Yeah. It’s weird though, I didn’t buy it. Remember that big Fed Ex package that I signed for yesterday? This was in it. Cool huh?” Willow stroked the soft leather as she spoke.

“Cool. Who’s it from?”

“Beats me.” Willow shrugged. “I’m thinking secret admirer. Rich secret admirer!” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Actually it’s probably from my parents. They always sent me stuff from their trips and they never send a note with it.”

“Perhaps we could forget about Willow’s wardrobe for a moment and return to the subject of your attack this evening? Good. Was there anything else odd about him?” Giles was starting to sound frustrated by the Slayer and her friends.

“Um…nope. Oh wait. He had purple eyes. But what’s the big anyway Giles? I gooed him and we’re done!” Buffy flung up her hands and headed for the couch. Willow followed her into the other room leaving Giles to mutter “Purple eyes, purple eyes now where have I read that recently.”

“Giles?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes Willow?” Giles jerked his head up and pulled his glasses out of his mouth where he had been chewing on the earpiece.

“Do you want me to…” she motioned to the computer. She winced as a huge crack of thunder rattled the window and a streak of lightning illuminated the night.

“Perhaps that might be unwise considering the storm.” Giles decided as the TV reception suddenly went fuzzy.

“Damn.” Xander muttered as he turned off the set. “The storm’s screwing up the satellite signal.”

“Duh!” Willow smacked her head with her open palm. “How could I have missed that?” She ran over to the couch and started pulling at Spike. Xander, Buffy and Giles stared at her in bewilderment.

“Now hold on a moment pet…” Spike managed as he was dragged to his feet. “What’s got your knickers all in a twist?”

“Hit me.” Willow demanded.

“WHAT?!” Spike’s jaw dropped. “Can’t do it pet. Implant you know…not to mention your little friend over there.” He nodded at Buffy who had dropped a stake into her hand the moment Willow made her request. The look in her eyes just dared Spike to do anything that foolish.

“Oh fine then.” Willow sighed turning away from him. She suddenly whipped back around and cracked Spike full force across the mouth. He instinctively grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm behind her, pulling her to him.

“Now that was a mistake pet!” He growled as his face morphed and he dragged his fangs across her neck. He felt a slight prick against his back as Buffy came to stand behind him with the point of her stake resting along his spine.

“Let her go fangless, unless you want to go back into the wheelchair for good this time.” Buffy prodded him lightly with her stake. Spike growled and released Willow. She moved a few paces away from him rubbing her wrist and grinning like an idiot.

“I don’t see the humor pet.” Spike grumbled his game face still on. Giles was staring at Spike in shock. Then he turned his glare onto Willow.

“That was certainly one of the most foolish things you have ever done!” He chastised her.

“I made my point though!” Willow returned.

“Uh. What point would that be Wills? The only one I see is the one that Buffy is about to drive into Deadboy Jr’s back.” Xander pointed out. Willow moved to where Buffy was still holding Spike at stakepoint and swatted her arm.

“Let him go.”

“No. He tried to eat you.”

“Well he won’t try again if you let him go. Right?” Willow promised looking at Spike.

“Wouldn’t have tried the first time if the chit hadn’t slapped me.” Spike allowed his features to return to their human form and dropped back onto the couch sulking.

“Don’t you get it? Don’t you see?” Willow asked exasperated as the lightning flashed again. Everyone except for Giles shook their heads. “Are you in pain?” Willow turned to Spike. He shook his head.

“No, luv, I’m fine…” He trailed off as comprehension began to dawn.

“But he should be! I mean the implant and not hurting humans and all that!” Buffy glanced between Spike and Willow.

Spike reached out and casually grabbed Xander by the neck. He picked the boy up by his throat and let him hang there for a few moments before dropping him onto the carpet. “Nothing!!” His eyes lit up with an unholy joy.

“Yeah, that’s great. Gonna kill us all now?” Xander gasped from where he lay on the carpet. Spike looked down at him and grinned, Xander hastily scooted back until he was behind Buffy.

“No, he’s not. Not if he wants to know why the implant’s not working.” Willow pointed at Spike. “Right?”

“Right.” Spike sat down the picture of innocence. “Alright Witch, how’d you do it and who do you want me to kill to thank you? Dog-boy?”

“No thanks. And I didn’t do anything. The storm did.”

“Of course. Electromagnetic interference. And we completely missed it.” Giles muttered. Willow nodded. Buffy raised her hand.

“Um. For those of us not well endowed in the science department: huh?”

“It hit me when the TV stopped working. The DTV system works off of satellite signals and when there is a storm those signals get blocked and the picture won’t come through. That’s why Giles didn’t want me to use the computer. If the lightning struck close by while I was using it the computer could get fried but the real thing is the Web. If I had been online I wouldn’t have been able to get through to anything because of the lightning interfering. Lightning causes electromagnetic interference which causes things like TVs, radios and computers to go screwy.” Willow paused for breath.

“And because this chip in my head is linked to The Initiative’s satellite system and is controlled by radio waves…”

“The storm interferes with it.” Willow finished. Spike’s face fell slightly.

“But that means that I’m only free as long as the storm lasts.” Thunder rumbled farther away from the house as the storm started to move on once again emphasizing his words. Spike stood up and grabbed Willow’s wrist and squeezed making her squeak with pain. His features contorted slightly. “It’s back. Not as bad yet but it’s back.” He released her wrist.

“It looks like the storm has to be right on top of you to really make a difference.” Giles looked thoughtful.

“Well I guess unless you can figure out a way to permanently attached a storm to your ass you’re still fangless.” Buffy sneered at him still playing with her stake. Spike didn’t even rise to the bait he just sat staring at his hands.

“Nothing’s changed then. We’ll just make sure he’s tied up during a storm and one of us will vamp sit again.” Xander shrugged grabbing the remote and turning the TV back on. The picture came in crystal clear. Spike made a noise that sounded like a strangled sob and strode quickly from the room.

“Guess I’m still too much of a liability.” He grabbed his duster and vanished out the door slamming it behind him. Buffy stared after him.

“What’s his problem?”

“Oh Buffy.” Willow shook her head at her friend as she walked past, grabbed her coat and followed Spike into the night.

“What?” Buffy asked the closed door. She turned to look at Giles. “What?”

“Think Buffy. We have promised to help Spike remove the chip’s influence and now we know how. But the moment that we discover this information we begin to make plans on how to keep him “controlled” the next time. Imagine that you have been blind and have been allowed to see for one brief moment but then your doctors tell you that you have to go back to being blind.” Giles turned away from her and picked up a book that had been lying on his desk.

“Oh.” Buffy looked at the closed door. “I really screwed that one up.”

\---------------------

Willow tore out of Giles’ house at a dead run tugging her jacket on hastily. “Spike?!” She shouted searching the empty street. < _Damn_.  > She stopped and glared at the den window. < _Why couldn’t you think before opening your mouth Buffy? Just once._ > She sighed.

“Come to twist the stake a bit pet?” She jumped as the dry British voice floated out of the shadows by the porch. Peering into the darkness she saw the glowing ember on the end of his cigarette.

“Are you okay?” She joined him against the side of the porch near the roses Olivia had planted.

Spike snorted. “Right as rain pet.”

“Oh, I thought you seemed a bit…hurt.” She turned her head away and began playing with one of the rose bushes.

“Demons don’t hurt that way luv, no emotions remember?”

“Bull.” Willow released the leaf she was shredding and turned to face him catching the look of pain on his face before he had time to mask it. She reached a hand up to his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

Spike jerked his head away the impassive mask he wore slid down onto his features. “Sorry for what? For showing me a life I thought I had lost and now can’t have anyway?” He glared at her with hate filled eyes. “Why should you be sorry for that?” He stalked out of the shadows and headed down the street back towards the crypt he was living in. Willow ran to keep up. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to face her.

“Buffy…she doesn’t understand. She’s spent the last four years fighting everything that you stand for, you can’t expect her to just put all that aside. And Xander…Xander’s a moron. He never was able to see what was in front of his face. Giles understood. He’ll help.” Willow looked up at him imploringly. “Don’t be mad at me. I didn’t do it to hurt you.” Spike’s eyes softened as he looked at her sincere expression.

“I know pet. But the others won’t let you help. They’ll come up with reasons to keep me as I am.”

“That doesn’t mean that I won’t do it.” Willow pointed to her face. “See this? It’s my resolve face. I don’t break promises to my friends and I promised that I would find a way to…what?” Willow asked suspiciously as Spike grinned suddenly.

“Friends witch?”

“Uh..I mean…” she took a deep breath. “Yeah friends. Who was the one who listened to me while I moaned about Oz? Who offered to chase him down and bring back his bloody carcass if I wanted it? Buffy and Xander said that they were sorry and that they were there for me but they were never around to listen to me.” Willow let go of his arm and walked off a few paces her face held down. “They didn’t even notice when I wanted to die.” Spike winced as he heard the pain still raw in her voice. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She shook him off and looked back up at him her normally gentle eyes hard as flint.

“You know that night that you came into my dorm room?” Spike nodded. “ You know what I was going to do that night? I had a knife in there. My witch’s atheme. I was sitting on the bed trying to figure out the best way to slit my wrists when you knocked on the door. And then after you couldn’t bite me and I was convinced that no one would ever want me you told me I was wrong. You listened to me. That’s more than Buffy or Xander did. And that makes you more of a friend than them. And I always help my friends.” Willow glared at him a moment as if daring him to deny her that right.

“All right pet if you’re so bloody convinced to do this I’m not going to stop you.” Spike held his hands up in self-defense. “We need to get you home.” He took Willow’s hand and tugged her in the direction of her dorm.

“I just don’t get why I didn’t see all this before. I mean look at me big bad computer nerd couldn’t think of a way to deactivate a computer chip. Maybe I should change my major…to basket weaving or something that doesn’t require much thought.” Willow continued to grumble as the passed The Bronze. A wave of hyper teenagers rolled out of the door and across the street in front of them. The sounds of a rock band grated from the open doors before cutting off sharply as the bouncer banged them shut. Willow’s eyes filled with momentary tears.

“Thinking of the wolf pet?” Spike asked putting his hand under her chin lifting her face up. “I already told you ducks. His loss, your gain.” His thumb wiped at the one tear that slid down her cheek. She brushed the others away impatiently with the back of her hand.

“See? That’s what I mean.” She started off down the street again. “You are actually trying to make me feel better. You, the same guy who kidnapped me and threatened me with a broken bottle. Buffy can’t look past her relationship with Angel to notice that someone else is suffering. You would think being separated from Angel would give her some insight into what I might be feeling but she’s still stuck in the loop of self-pity. And I think hearing about my pain only made hers more real.” Spike grabbed her arm and pulled her across his body as a drunken couple stumbled across their path. Willow watched as they clung together groping each other.

“Get a room.” Spike requested as he pushed them out of the way.

“And Xander is too busy being…um…”

“Shagged, ducks.”

“Right…shagged senseless to notice if the sky fell down. And considering that he never noticed ten years of puppy love from me I suppose hoping he would notice one little gut wrenching heartbreak would be overestimating his abilities.” Willow paused for breath. She glanced at the building in front of her with some surprise. They had managed to walk back to Willow’s dorm during her ranting.

“Look’s like your home ducks. Better get inside before it starts raining again.”

“Tomorrow? Same bat time?” She smiled at him.

“Same bat place.” He nodded. She stroked his arm softly before disappearing into the building. He waited until the light in her room went on before he turned to walk away. “Besides Red, you’re my friend too.”

\-------------------------

“Wills? Will? Willow?!” Buffy burst through the door shaking water from her hair. Willow started up from where she had been dozing in her desk chair.

“What? What’s wrong? Is it Xander? Giles? Spike?” The dazed redhead stumbled towards the door ready to race out if needed.

“What? Oh no, everyone’s fine. I was just worried. You know, when you and Spike ran out and all…” Buffy shuffled her feet a little. “I was wrong about what I said to him. We promised we’d help him if he helped us.” She looked up into Willow’s surprised eyes. “Well he’s helped us! I mean he’s saved my life and your life and Xander’s life. And he’s helped us figure out what to do about different demons that weren’t mentioned anywhere in Giles’ books. So we owe him.” She said defensively. “I told him that I didn’t agree with what the Initiative did and I meant it. I just have a hard time agreeing with what he does.”

Willow giggled.

“What?”

“Well I think that’s probably one of the cardinal rules of the Slayer: Don’t agree with demons.” Willow gasped out around her giggles. Buffy glared at her friend for a minute before she too started to laugh.

“Yeah that one’s right after ‘Don’t ever take a demon to the prom.’ Xander blew that one.”

“How about ‘Don’t ever say ‘it can’t get worse’ on the Hellmouth’?” By now both girls had tears running down their faces and they had collapsed on their beds. Willow struggled off her bed as something on her computer beeped. Wiping tears from her cheeks she opened the file that had just been downloaded. “Got it.” She said in a satisfied tone.

“What is it?” Buffy got up to look over her shoulder.

“I wrote to a Physic’s major friend of mine to ask him what sort of things would produce an electromagnetic field strong enough to permanently deactivate computer chips.”

“And?” Buffy asked trying to skim the file on the computer screen.

“He actually suggested that I try something much simpler first. Magnets.”

“Magnets? As in magnets? The cute little cows and such that my mom used to hold my grade school papers on the fridge with? Those magnets?” Buffy stared at Willow incredulously.

“Well, more powerful magnets but yeah. I should have thought of that one too. No one who cares about his or her computer ever lets a strong magnet near it. And I think I know exactly where to get one strong enough to destroy that chip.” Willow closed down the file and shut off her computer. She started for the door stopping only to grab her jacket. “Coming?” She asked Buffy over her shoulder. Buffy scrambled to follow the witch out the door.

“Where are we going anyway?”

“DiPetrio’s Junk Cars and Scrap.”

\--------------------

Spike stared through the ruby liquid at the stars. He tilted the bubble glass slightly to allow the rich scent to reach him. He inhaled ignoring the slight twinge that his implant gave him as he relished the smell of human blood. It was Willow who had reasoned that he could still drink human blood as long as it was taken without causing the human pain. Spike hadn’t seen the logic in that until she had rolled her eyes at him and in her most biting tone had said “People who donate blood aren’t being hurt now are they?” She had tested that theory by ‘requisitioning’ two pints of blood from Angel’s contact at the hospital and feeding it to him. His implant gave a little twinge but that was all. As long as he kept his mind on something else while he drank he wasn’t bothered. Willow had grinned at him and demanded that he admit that she had been right. When he did she had gleefully danced in place singing “I told you so!” Spike smiled at the memory. What was it about the little witch that made him want to see her happy? And why was it that tonight when the Slayer and the git had torn his joy apart had he been so glad that she had said she would still help him? He shook his head. He was turning into a poof just like his sire. It was that damn implant! Making him think strange thoughts and feel things that no demon should feel.

He sighed and slugged back the glass of blood. No, if he wanted to be honest with himself this had all started long before the implant. He startled as his phone rang. < _Who the bloody hell would be calling this late?_ >

“What?” He picked up the phone on its fourth ring.

“Spike?”

“Who else pet?”

“I need you to meet me at the junkyard on Crescent Street. You know it?”

“Hell pet what are you doing out there this late at night?” His voice rose as he thought of her tiptoeing around one of the busiest vampire hunting areas alone. “You just stay there.” Spike slammed down the phone and raced out the door dropping the goblet in his rush.

A dozen glass shards sparkled in the light of the stars above.

\-------------------------

“He’s on his way.” Willow handed the cell phone back to Buffy.

“Good.” Buffy pocketed the phone and continued to stare up at what Willow had dragged her out of the dorm to find. The giant car magnet loomed above them. “Are you sure about this Will?” She looked at the hacker who was reading the instructions for running the crane the magnet was attached to.

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Well no. But I don’t think I will be able to control myself if Spike is lifted up off the ground and sticks to that thing when you turn it on.” Buffy snickered as the image flitted through her brain.

“Um. Yeah I can see how that would be hard.” Willow suffocated a giggle of her own. “But I am pretty sure that I can reprogram this is lower the magnet to the ground and do a self-diagnostic. When it does it will emit a strong magnetic field for a few seconds. That should be enough for the implant to be deactivated but not enough to hurt Spike.” Willow punched a few more buttons and watched with satisfaction as the giant magnet slowly settled to earth next to them. “Now we just wait for Spike.”

\------------------------

< _Bloody Slayer. Going to get her friends killed if she can’t keep better track of them. What the bloody hell does the witch think she’s doing roaming around at night alone? If the Slayer weren’t so busy moping over soulboy she might actually notice when one of her friends is about to become dinner_.  > Spike’s thoughts kept going round as he ran through the underground tunnels of Sunnydale. He stopped at a junction and quickly climbed the ladder bolted to the wall. He slid the manhole cover to the side slowly and peered out checking to make sure nothing else was stirring along this dead end alley. Sensing nothing he climbed out and continued his headlong dash towards the scrap yard where Willow waited for him. < _Don’t leave me now Witch…don’t be someone’s dinner. You’ve been strong…don’t be weak now._ > The gates to the scrap yard lay directly ahead of him. He studied them carefully before backing up and getting a running start. He vaulted them cleanly and leaned in a crouch on the other side. < _What the?_ >

“Hello Spike.” Buffy greeted him from where she sat on a metal square that had once been a Buick. She was toying with a stake, a habit he noticed that she indulged in when she was nervous. “Look I have to tell you something. And I have to do it fast so I don’t lose my nerve.” She held up a hand as he started to speak, to demand where his witch was. < _My witch? Where the hell did that come from?_ >

“Look I was wrong earlier. We had a bargain and you’ve kept your end, more than kept it really, and I didn’t give holding up my end a second thought. I’m really sorry Spike.” She smiled at him shyly. He supposed that she wasn’t used to saying sorry to anyone. < _At least she has the nerve to admit when she’s wrong. And if she has that much nerve then.._ >

“Apology accepted luv. Care to kiss and make up?” He leered. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Eeew.”

“Well then since you didn’t call me here for a menage-a-trios, you didn’t, did you?” He looked hopeful. Buffy shuddered.

“Well then what was that call from Willow all about?”

“It’s about getting rid of that chip in your head.” Willow answered him coming into view from behind a pile of crunched cars. “Come here my little pretty.” She croaked, crooking her finger at him. “Come to Auntie Willow.”

Spike backed up a step. “Now luv, you know I would do anything to get rid of this bloody implant but what exactly do I have to do?”

“Nothing. Just come over here and stand next to this magnet.” Willow said innocently.

“That’s it?” Spike still looked suspicious.

“That’s it.” Willow nodded to Buffy who grabbed Spike’s arm in a grip of iron and dragged him over next to the magnet.

“Have a seat.” She suggested forcing him down until he was sitting on the edge of the magnet. Then she wagged a finger at him. “Stay.” She moved to where Willow was standing next to a control panel.

“Now I don’t know if this is going to hurt…”

“Just bloody well do it!” Spike growled forcing himself to remain seated. Willow nodded and flicked a switch. There was a hum as the power raced through the cords and activated the magnets self-diagnostic procedure.

“Well?” Willow looked at Spike expectantly. He shrugged.

“Not a th…aaaarrrrgghhh!” Spike fell to the ground twitching violently. He grabbed his head as sparks shot across his closed eyelids. He didn’t realize that his game face ad slid on until he felt himself bite through his own lip. He screamed as his dark blood trickled down his throat. It felt as if he were drinking liquid lightning. And then it stopped. He lay still tensed to feel the next jolt of pain. Instead he felt a soft hand on his forehead.

“Spike? Spike? Oh Goddess I didn’t know that was going to happen. Spike?” He heard Willow’s frantic voice from far away. He forced his eyes open blinking away tears of blood. He saw Willow crouched over him her hand stroking his forehead. Buffy knelt beside Willow clutching her stake, just in case.

“Red what the hell happened?” He had meant to bellow the question but it came out as barely more than a whisper. She’d heard him though.

“I talked to a guy I know and he said that a magnet could generate a strong enough force to deactivate the chip. This was the biggest magnet I could think of and I made it give off one really strong pulse when you were sitting on it. It..it should have destroyed the chip.” Willow continued to stroke his forehead. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the heat of her hand for a moment while he searched inside his head. < _Tearing Xander limb from limb._ > He deliberately pictured the act. The blood. The screams. The look of agony on the git’s face. He waited for the implant to ‘punish’ him. Nothing happened.

“Slayer.” He croaked, his voice a bit stronger this time.

“Yeah?” She leaned closer, still wary and clutching the stake. He reached up and yanked her hair. Hard.

“OUCH!! That HURT you rotten son of a she-demon!” Buffy clutched her head where the hair had been pulled from the scalp. Spike grinned as he looked at the blond strands still tangled in his fingers.

“It worked.” Willow stated.

“It worked.” Spike confirmed as he dragged himself off the ground. Willow shoved her shoulder under his arm as he staggered.

“It worked.” Buffy sighed still rubbing her head while Willow and Spike grinned at each other and began to do the ‘dance of joy’.

\---------------------------

“We are the champions / we are the champions / and we’ll keep on fighting / till the end / my friend…” Willow staggered into Spike causing him to lose his balance and fall heavily against the dorm room door. He fought to keep himself upright and, failing that attempted to keep the half-empty bottle of whiskey from crashing to the floor. He landed on his ass with Willow sprawled on top of him. She giggled and reached for the bottle he had managed to protect. An arm snaked in and snatched the bottle out of reach.

“That is enough of that.” Buffy stood, hands on hips, and glared down at the witch and vampire wriggling on the floor. She tossed the bottle into the recycle bin at the end of the hall. “Spike!” Buffy reached down and hauled Willow off the vampire who had begun to stroke her neck lovingly. “Willow!” Buffy reached down again and lifted Spike out of range of the redhead who was stroking his thigh with her foot. She booted the door open thankful that she had failed to lock it earlier. She stalked inside dragging her two captives.

Willow’s eyes fell on the cage that housed Amy. “Ooohh. Hey I bet I could try that de-rat spell again now that things are working for me. Hang on Amy while I find my notebooks…” The rat squeaked frantically and quickly buried herself under her cedar shavings as Willow rooted around her desk looking for the incantation.

“Willow, why don’t you rest before you try the spell.” Buffy suggested nudging the witch onto her bed. “After all you’ll need your full power if you are going to change Amy back.” Willow nodded sleepily as the effects of the celebratory whiskey caught up with her.

“OK Buffy.” Willow curled up around the stuffed wolf Spike had given her after Oz left. Some stuffing spilled out of the gash along the animal’s neck.

Buffy turned her attention back to Spike who had pulled away from her and was attempting to light a cigarette. “NO! No smoking in here.” Buffy flicked the cigarette from his lips.

“Alright. I’ll just go outside. Should be going anyway…lots of murder…and mayhem to plan, you know.” Spike weaved his way towards the door. Buffy blocked his exit and steered him towards her bed.

“Later. First we need to discuss some things, like what are you going to do to thank us for getting your bite back.” Spike sat on the edge of Buffy’s bed and glanced at the sleeping Willow across the room.

“Don’t worry Slayer I’ll thank her proper.” Spike leered and then looked confused as he slowly toppled over. He was asleep before his head hit Buffy’s pillow.

The Slayer rubbed her temples wondering what the Council would think if they knew that she had a drunk vampire sleeping in her bed. < _I bet that breaks one of their rules_ > she smiled thinking back to the game that she and Willow had been playing earlier. < _Okay, Spike has his bite back. That’s bad. Willow was the one that gave Spike his bite back. He is grateful to her. That’s a good thing. He promised to “thank her proper”. That’s a bad thing…I think_.  > Buffy sighed. Her head hurt. Deciding to worry about things in the morning she made a mental note to call Giles and then rooted around under her bed until she found her sleeping bag. She spread the bag out in the middle of the room between the two beds. Before climbing into bed she swiftly tacked a heavy blanket across her window and grabbed her lucky stake. She folded her legs and dropped onto the sleeping bag. < _Definitely going to need some Tylenol_.  > She rubbed her aching head again. Baby-sitting a drunken witch and vampire was not her idea of a fun night.

Buffy grimaced as she looked at the softly snoring witch passed out on her bed. She never would have believed the Willow would get drunk as fast as she did. After she and Spike had finished with the dance of joy she had insisted that they call Giles to let him know what had happened. Spike had agreed to let them use the phone at his place but the Slayer had been suspicious of his offer. She demanded that they use the nearest payphone and then part ways. In their search for a payphone < _we must have been on the only four blocks in Sunnydale without a phone_ > they had passed an all-night liquor store. Spike had darted inside and purchased a bottle to ‘celebrate’. He had convinced both of them to drink a toast with him. Buffy was still surprised that Willow had slugged back the fiery liquor with no hesitation, she was even more surprised when the redhead didn’t even flinch as the whiskey shot down her throat. Spike had laughed and hugged her to him saying, “That’s my girl!” After that he kept offering her a drink every time he took one. Willow was so high on success that she had accepted. The results were one sloshed witch who was going to have a major headache in the morning and one irritated Slayer who had a headache now. < _And one vampire passed out in my bed_.  > Buffy sighed and lay back, cradling the stake in her arms the Slayer succumbed to sleep.

\------------------------

Giles groaned as the phone on his nightstand rang. He opened an eye and peered at the clock sitting next to the phone. < _5:30am. Someone had better be dead_.  > He reached for the phone and dragged the receiver to his ear.

“What?” He grumbled.

“Rupert?” Olivia’s voice drove the vestiges of sleep from his brain and he lifted his head from under his pillow.

“Olivia? Why are you calling? Is everything alright? Your parents?”

“Everything’s fine Rupert. I just called to tell you that I will be taking an earlier flight home on Friday. I’ll need you to meet me at 10:00 instead of 2:00. My parents say hello and want you to know that they are glad that I finally found myself a ‘nice English gentleman’. How are things in Sunnydale?”

“Oh the same. Willow thinks she might have found a way to deactivate Spike’s implant. Buffy appears to have fought yet another variety of demon that doesn’t appear in any known literature. The standard.”

“Rupert…I know we promised to help Spike but before Willow goes and does anything rash I think we should all sit down and ask Spike just what he intends to do after the implant is gone. We could probably get him to agree to leave Sunnydale in return for our help.”

“Hmm. You’re right of course. I’ll call Willow and Buffy a little later and arrange to discuss it with them.”

“Fine then. You go back to sleep. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” Giles laid the receiver back in its cradle. < _Perhaps I should call Buffy now…no they wouldn’t do anything this soon. It can wait until I’ve had a cup of tea._ > Giles pulled himself out of bed and drew on his robe before padding downstairs to begin the day as it should begin. With Earl Gray.

\---------------------------

“…luv.” Buffy woke to Spike’s whisper. Cracking open her eyelids she caught him in the act of licking gently at the bite mark that marred the white flesh of Willow’s neck. She carefully felt for the stake she had fallen asleep with as flames filled her mind. Finding the sharpened piece of wood she tensed to strike. Before she could move Spike lifted his head from Willow’s throat and looked over at her, his eyes met hers. She was shocked to see his human features and the true warmth in his blue eyes.

“What are you doing?” She snarled reminding herself that he had just been fastened to her best friend’s neck.

“Thanking her…properly.” Spike straightened up from where he was crouched next to Willow’s bed. “She’s marked as mine now. She’s safe.” He headed for the door.

“Wait. What do you mean you ‘marked’ her?” Buffy called to him as he slid out the door shutting it firmly behind him. _< Damn him!_ > Buffy surged to her feet only to trip over the entangled folds of her sleeping bag. By the time she reached the door and rushed out into the hallway Spike was gone. Returning to her room Buffy crossed to Willow’s bedside and laid her fingers against the witch’s throat. She nearly groaned in relief as she found the pulse strong and steady. Her fingers brushed the marks made by Spike’s teeth. < _Not deep_.  > Confused she headed for the phone. < _Giles will know what to do._ >

\------------------------

“You say he used the word ‘marked’ to describe what he had done?” Giles sipped the last of his tea from his favorite mug while listening to his slightly hysterical Slayer’s voice go up half an octave. He pulled the phone farther away from his ear and winced.

“That’s not the point Giles! He was biting her neck! Drinking her blood! Remember vampire equals bad evil demon who was sucking on Willow’s neck! Remember Willow? Nice quiet girl uses the computer a lot…” Buffy continued to rant as Giles left the kitchen and entered his library. < _Now where was that book_?  > He trailed his finger along the spines of the books in the bookshelf trying to find the one he needed.

“And then he just walks out! Doesn’t even seem afraid of me! The Slayer! Not scared at all of me and after he’s just bitten my best friend!” Buffy went on to describe exactly why Spike and any other vampire in Sunnydale should fear her automatically. Giles muttered a few “Of course, Buffy” and “Quite right” comments hoping to calm her down. < _Ah, there it is._ > He flipped through the pages until he found the section he was looking for. Skimming the page quickly he sighed in relief.

“Buffy..”

“Did he even bother to say thank you? Nope just up and..”

“BUFFY!”

“What?!” Buffy asked petulantly rather annoyed at Giles for interrupting her tirade.

“You are certain Spike said that he ‘marked’ Willow?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then I see no reason to be concerned. In fact he’s quite right to say that was the proper way to thank Willow for what she has done.” Giles put the book back and turned to more serious matters. “Now, Buffy, since Spike will no longer be able to help you with patrol I suggest that we meet here to work out a new schedule…”

“GILES!” Buffy’s angry voice cut him off. “Why exactly should we not be worrying about Willow?”

“Oh, well, you see it used to be common practice among vampires to ‘mark’ the humans who worked for them so that they would be protected from other vampires. By marking Willow with his bite Spike has ensured that no other vampire in Sunnydale will bother her. She is under his nominal protection and given Spike’s reputation I do not believe there would be many who would be willing to incur his wrath simply for a meal.”

“So that’s what he meant when he said that she was safe.” Buffy slowly returned to her normal calm acceptance of the weird things that went on over the Hellmouth. “Okay. So what’s this about a new patrol schedule?”

\--------------------------

Willow awoke slowly. She whimpered when the sun streaming in through the open curtains came in contact with her slited eyelids. She placed a hand to her forehead and groaned. < _No more alcohol for Willow._ > Squinting she pulled herself off the bed and headed for the bathroom. She leaned against the cool tile of the counter and splashed cold water on her face and reddened eyes hoping to banish the fog that still permeated her mind. < _Oh goddess what ever possessed me to share a bottle of Jack Daniels with Spike?_ > As she searched her memories of the previous evening she had to admit that she hadn’t been that hard to convince. Riding high on the successful disruption of Spike’s implant she had been more than willing to join Spike in toasting his new life. Than she had accepted, modestly of course, a toast in her honor. She had then toasted Spike for placing his trust in her. Spike had toasted Buffy for not staking him when he had originally asked for help. It was around that point that the whiskey had gotten to Willow. She vaguely remembered proposing a toast to Mother Nature for causing the storm, which had given her the idea in the first place. She groaned again and leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror over the sink. She looked point blank into her puffy eyes.

“No more drinking. Especially with recently un-neutered hyper bleach blond vampires.” She frowned as something on her neck caught her attention. She sucked in her breath sharply as she raised shaking fingers to the twin fang marks along her jugular. < _Oh goddess he bit me…and that means…that means…_ > Willow began to hyperventilate. She turned the water on again and splashed a bit more forcefully. She peered at her dripping reflection. She studied the bite mark carefully. < _Definitely real_.  > She looked sadly at the girl in the mirror.

“Oh Willow, what have you gotten yourself into now…oh great now I’m talking to myself and staring into my own eyes…staring into…I have a reflection!” Willow sagged against the sink as joy flooded through her. She still had her reflection and she wasn’t dead so that must mean that Buffy had stopped Spike before he could hurt her. Smiling Willow left the bathroom and headed back to her bedroom to confront her friend and fill in the missing gaps from last night.

Returning to the room Willow found Buffy gone and a note next to her computer.

  
_Wills,_   
_Join me at Giles’ house when you wake up. He’s still worried about that_   
_demon from last night. He needs you to help him with the computer._   
_Buffy_

Willow stared at the note. < After _everything that happened last night couldn’t she have at least waited for me?_ > Willow crumpled the note and tossed it into the wastebasket next to her desk. < _Well they can just wait for me to take a shower and get something to eat._ > She grimaced as she looked down at the wrinkled dress she had been wearing last night. _< I am not going to show up looking like a rag bag_.  > Peeling off her clothes she scooped up her shampoo and body wash and, wrapping a towel around herself, headed back to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once in the shower Willow turned the water up until it was so hot she was turning pink and then stood with her head tilted back letting the water sluice over her body. She struggled to clear her mind using a mediation technique Tara had taught her. < _The water is rinsing all emotion from your mind. The water is rinsing all doubt away. The water is leaving a clear path in your mind_.  > When her mind felt sufficiently clear Willow deliberately recalled the events of the previous night and analyzed them dispassionately. She recognized her correct choice in which course of action to take with Spike even though it had meant that she had sided against her friends. She winced as she thought about how impulsive she had been to run out and put her plan into motion without consulting Giles. But she also found deep satisfaction in knowing that she had been able to help one of her friends and that she had been able to accomplish all of it without relying on the others.

A significantly more self-assured Willow stepped from the shower scrubbed clean physically, emotionally and mentally. Wrapping her long hair in a towel she returned to her room. The message light on the answering machine was blinking. Willow frowned, < _Hope it isn’t Giles or Buffy_ > she stabbed a finger at the blinking button but before the message could begin to play the phone rang. Willow scooped it up before the first ring was completed.

“Hello?”

“Wills, it’s Buffy. Listen Giles is seriously wigging about this demon from last night, we really need you right now.”

“Okay, just let me get dressed, unless you want me to come over there in a towel…” Willow trailed off as Buffy squealed. “Okay, okay, I’m on my way.” Willow slammed down the phone and grabbed some sweatpants and a tee shirt from her closet. She pulled the clothes on and reached for her hairbrush, as she did she noticed the blinking message light again. She pushed the button and picked up the brush. While she dragged the brush through her hair she listen to the message. She nearly dropped the brush when she heard a familiar cocky, accented voice.

“ ‘Ello, luv. Look I’m sorry to tell you this way but I haven’t got much time. I’m leaving Sunnydale, you see. I figured it’s only fair for me to go and leave the Slayer and her friends alone, at least for a little while. Do say my good-byes for me, won’t you, pet?” Spike broke off and Willow could hear someone shouting in the background. “I’ve got to go pet. Just wanted to say thanks and goodbye. Oh, and I’m glad you liked your new jacket.” There was a click as the message reached its end. Willow placed the brush on her dresser with trembling fingers.

Spike was leaving? That would mean no more late night talks while she researched the latest threat to the Hellmouth. No more someone getting her a cup of coffee made the way she liked it.

_“Where did a vampire learn to make coffee?”_

_“I have all sorts of hidden talents luv.” Spike waggled his eyebrows._

_“I just bet.” Willow giggled sipping her coffee._

Willow sighed. She was going to miss the vampire she had come to think of as a friend. She knew he hadn’t thought of her that way but it hurt that he could leave so easily and so quickly. < _At least he said thank you_.  > Willow glanced over at her bed where her new jacket lay crumpled on the floor. She picked it up and held it to her nose sniffing the leather. She could faintly smell smoke from Spike'’ cigarettes and the whiskey from last night. She pulled it on and hugged herself trying to pretend that she could feel his arms around her soothing her as he had many times before when she had fallen apart over Oz’s departure. If she closed her eyes she could almost believe that he was there with her. It would have to be enough.

Willow flicked at the tear in her eye. < _No more crying, Rosenberg_.  > She straightened up and, head held high, walked out the door shutting it softly behind her.

Across town a black Desotto with tinted windows ran over the ‘Now leaving Sunnydale’ sign.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy and Giles were in the library when Willow finally walked in through the front door. She stopped for a moment catching sight of a crumpled towel where Spike had kicked it into a corner last night. Shaking her head she hung her jacket up and joined the Slayer and her Watcher. Xander and his ex-vengeance demon girlfriend, Anya, were curled up on the couch. Their lips were pressed so hard against one another that Willow had a hard time determining where her friend ended and his lover began.

“Hi guys.” Xander managed to free a hand long enough to wave at Willow before returning to the more important task of unbuttoning Anya’s shirt. Willow shook her head at the pair and continued into the library.

“Gee Giles you wouldn’t believe what Xander and Anya are doing on your couch.” Willow told him with a little smile. Giles groaned.

“I’ve told you two before! If you insist on doing that in my house please at least have the decency to use the spare bedroom!” Giles shouted towards the couple in the den.

“Sorry.” Came Xander’s muffled apology and then there was silence as the pair moved out of the main living areas. Willow took the book that Giles handed to her and headed for the computer in the now empty den.

“Well finally!” Buffy headed directly out to the den and flipped on the TV. She turned the channel and groaned. “Dammit. Missed half of ‘Passions’! Wonder if Jimmy’s out of the coma yet.”

Willow grinned as the Slayer brushed past her on her mission to the TV. The smile slipped when she remembered that Spike watched the same soap opera. It was one of the few things that Buffy and Spike had ever agreed on. She felt the tears at the back of her eyes again. What was wrong with her? Why did any guy who got close to her feel the need to run away? Xander's road trip before college last summer had been in part due to her.

_“But we always spend the summer together, Xander, Since we were three!”_

_“I know Wills. But after what happened I just think that maybe we should stop spending so much time together. You know so we don’t get confused again.”_

Xander had been convinced that the only reason they had been attracted to each other last year was because they were always together. Proximity, he noted, was the driving force behind their attraction. < _Yeah,_ > thought Willow < _it’s not like he could actually find me attractive. Had to be the proximity._ > And even after he had returned he hadn’t been as close with her as before. Then he got together with Anya and now Willow was lucky if she saw her best friend since kindergarten for more than an hour at Giles’ nightly research sessions. She hadn’t even been able to get him alone to tell him that her feelings were sorted out and that last year had been a big mistake. He wouldn’t be alone with her. < _Like I am going to tackle him, hold him down and have my way with him if we spend three minutes without supervision_.  > He hadn’t even been there for her when Oz left.

Oz. He had flat out told her that he was leaving because of her. Oh sure the little performance he put on for her friends about leaving to learn to control the wolf within had been great. But Willow knew the real reason he had left: because she wasn’t enough for him. Wasn’t enough to keep him interested. All the hurtful things that he had said to her had only been reinforced when she got his postcard. She knew that the others thought she hadn’t gotten any word from him since he left but that wasn’t true. She was just too ashamed to let them know that he had contacted her. He had sent her a picture of him and three beautiful girls in various states of undress. _Willow_ _, As you can see I’ve found what I was looking for. Oz_ had been the message scrawled on the back. Spike was the only one who knew about the picture. He had come to her dorm to get her and when he reached her room had found her in tears. He had broken in through the door thinking that she was in trouble when he heard the sobs. He’d picked up the picture from her lap, read it and then held her in his arms. Willow knew that he really did understand thanks to Drusilla and the way she had left him. Their breakups had been eerily similar. It was the next day that he had given her the stuffed wolf with its throat slit.

Now he was gone. Her friendship hadn’t been enough to keep him around. She frowned as a thought suddenly made it across her mind. Maybe Spike had gone to make good on his threat to slit Oz’s throat. Her heart leaped for a moment but settled back in place when she recalled the phone message. He was leaving in thanks for them helping him. Tears came to her eyes again. He hadn’t even said goodbye in person. She wasn’t worth much to him, which was obvious. She just wished she knew what was wrong with her so she could fix it.

Buffy watched her friend from the doorway. Willow sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. He jaw rippled as she clenched her teeth refusing to let out the howl of anguish Buffy knew that she must be feeling.

Her soul felt as if it had been torn in two the same way Buffy had felt when Angel left. Buffy sighed. As the Slayer she knew she should be glad that Spike had left town but she was too worried about her friend to think about what destiny demanded she do. Willow dropped her head and let her hair fall in a curtain before her eyes. Buffy heard the strangled noises that indicated Willow was forcing back sobs. She moved to walk over and embrace her friend. Willow heard the slight noise of her footsteps and jerked her head up blinking back the tears. She smiled tremulously at Buffy.

“Hey Buff. So what’s up with Giles and this demon?” She turned her back on Buffy and powered up the computer. Buffy sighed at the wasted opportunity. She knew that Willow wouldn’t speak to her now. Spike had been the only one that she had opened up to. Buffy was willing to admit that was partially her fault since she had been too wrapped up in her own pain to help Willow over Oz. She crossed the room and laid a hand on Willow’s shoulder. The redhead’s whole body tensed and she shrugged slightly to get Buffy to drop her hand. Buffy sighed and relented. Willow would talk when she was ready.

“I don’t know. Giles seemed kind of wigged when I mentioned that the demon had purple eyes.” Buffy dropped into a chair next to Willow. She winced when she saw Willow’s eyes cloud over at the movement. How many times had she seen Spike sit in this same chair?

“It’ll be okay Will.” Willow nodded slightly and shook herself.

“Purple eyes huh? Let’s see what we can find.” Willow opened Lycos and started searching.

\-----------------------

< _What the hell was he doing?_ > Spike grabbed the bottle of whiskey sitting on the seat beside him in the car. He squinted trying to block out the glare of the sun through the tinted windows. He grimaced as he remembered who had paid for those windows. After he had given Willow the stuffed wolf, modified to reflect how he felt about the pup, she had surprised him by stealing his car and getting the windows retinted. He shook his head as he felt a lump rise in his throat at the thought of his red haired witch. < _Not my witch. Never my witch_.  > He took a long pull at the bottle and continued driving in the direction of the setting sun.

\---------------------

“Willow look out!” Buffy raced towards the diminutive hacker standing by the park bench where the three vampires had trapped her. < _I’m not going to make it in time. Oh God. Willow_.  > Buffy screamed in frustration as one of the vamps reached out and caught Willow’s long hair. He dragged her to his mouth and lowered his fangs to her neck.

Willow whimpered softly. She felt his fangs prick the tender skin on the underside of her jaw. She saw Buffy racing across the grass with no hope of reaching her before she was drained. The vampire suddenly dropped her as if he had been burned. Willow saw the fear in his eyes as he stepped back staring at her neck.

“I didn’t know. You’ll tell him I didn’t know?” He looked at her desperately. She tried to speak but her mouth was dry.

“We won’t need to tell him anything.” Buffy said as she stabbed the stake into his back. His desperate eyes remained on Willow’s face as he turned to dust. Buffy whirled to glare at the other two vamps who were hastily backing away. “Now what shall I tell him about you two?” The fled. Buffy turned back to Willow. “You alright?”

“Yeah. What happened?” Willow pulled herself up off the ground where she had landed when the vamp had dropped her.

Buffy took hold of Willow’s jaw and tilted her head sideways. “I imagine your little hickey has something to do with it.” She released Willow and grinned. Willow reached up a hand to stroke the scars of Spike’s bite a habit Buffy had noticed she did whenever she was nervous or depressed. It was as if she drew strength from the marks.

“Guess so. Good thing time doesn’t decrease their potency. Otherwise I would have been one of those Happy Meals with legs.” Willow smiled. A real smile, one that reached all the way to her eyes. Buffy smiled back. In the month since Spike had left the two friends had returned to the friendship they had once known. Buffy knew that Willow still missed Spike everyday but at least she now saw the wisdom in his decision. There couldn’t ever be peace between the Slayer and the vampire. Eventually one of them would be responsible for the other’s death even if indirectly. Spike had left, that was his thanks to them for helping him. Buffy turned a deaf ear whenever she heard rumors of where he might have gone, that was her thanks to him for leaving Willow his protection. At Willow’s joke Buffy felt hope blossom inside her, this was the first time Willow had been able to use one of Spike’s expressions without the smile dropping away from her face and her eyes going blank. < _Definitely an improvement_.  >

“So…Mochacinno?” Buffy asked looping her arm through her friend’s.

“You buying?”

“Only if you promise to tell me again what Spike looked like without his shirt on that time.”

“Deal.” The two girls headed for the coffee shop talking and giggling like the teenagers that they were.

Just as they passed the last streetlight in the park Buffy glanced back over her shoulder at the shadowy figure she sensed behind them. She gave a quick nod and then returned to laughing with Willow. From the shadows a thin stream of smoke rose into the night sky.

\----------------------------

“I can’t believe that there’s only a week left until Christmas.” Buffy exclaimed as she was jostled by a group of overeager shoppers near the sweater rack. “Hey Will what about this one? Does it say Watcher?” Buffy pulled out a charcoal gray pullover and modeled it for Willow.

“Yeah, nice.” Willow glanced at the sweater and then went back to staring at the crowds of people. Buffy waved her hand in front of her friend’s face. “Hello? Earth to Willow. You okay in there?” Willow looked back to Buffy. “Yeah, fine. Just tired. I’m not as good at this power shopping as you and Cordelia are.” Buffy wrinkled her nose at being compared to the former cheerleader but had to agree noting the dark circles under Willow’s eyes. “You okay Will? Bad dreams?” Buffy asked as she headed to the register to pay for the sweater. Willow shook her head. “Okay, I just thought that maybe after those vamps last night…you know…nightmares about being a Happy Meal.” Willow shook her head again.

“No, I’m fine. Just want to go home and finish my last paper before Christmas break is all. You okay with that?” Buffy nodded and gave her friend a quick hug and sending her towards the mall exit.

Willow watched as the crowds swallowed her best friend. She sighed. December 19, 2000. The date kept repeating in her head as she exited the brightly lit mall for the sparsely lit streets of Sunnydale. She started walking back to the dorm as her thoughts began their normal depressive spiral. < _Today should have been our one year-get-back-together anniversary. Oz promised to give me a second chance a year ago today_.  > She shook her head to rid herself of the memory. Oz telling her that he realized that all he wanted was to be with her. Following closely on the heels of that memory was the one where she found Oz curled up around Veruca in his crypt. Then the memory of all the hateful things he had said to her and finally the memory of getting the mail about three months ago and seeing a card from him. She had been so happy to hear from him. She had foolishly allowed herself to believe that he might have actually meant that he wanted to come back after he got the wolf under control. But that was before she saw the picture of him and those girls. Hope had died then. Hope and any love that she had left to give. To make matters worse it was one month to the day since Spike had left. Willow reluctantly acknowledged that she had been foolish to believe that the vampire had felt anything for her. It wasn’t his fault that she was a silly little girl who couldn’t tell love from indifference. He’d only been interested in her because she wanted to help him. Love hadn’t been anything to do with it. < _But he listened. He didn’t need to do that to get you to help._ > The little voice in the back of her head reminded her. < _Fine, maybe he liked me just enough to stand being around me._ > He hadn’t loved her; that had been her hallucination.

She looked around at the street she was on. It was on this street that Spike had bought the bottle of whiskey they had shared the night she rid him of the chip. She bit her lower lip and then stroked the scars on her neck. Setting her jaw she entered the store. Searching the shelves she finally found a small flask of the whiskey that Spike had liked. Bringing it to the counter she bit her lip again when the clerk asked for her ID. She pulled out her wallet and gave him the fake ID Xander had insisted she make back in high school. The clerk glanced at it noted the birthdate and handed it back to her. She left the store with her bottle in a paper bag and a new respect for the FBIs computer aging programs. She unscrewed the cap on the flask and took a swallow as she continued back to her dorm.

Night had fallen completely by the time she stumbled back to her room. She settled on the bench across the street from her dorm. Having seen her room light on she guessed that Buffy had already returned and, having no desire to see the blonde, decided to finish her drink in the park. She was safe after all. Spike’s bites made her forbidden to any other vampires around. She drank steadily until the flask was empty and the stars were talking to her. < _Great, I’ve become Drusilla_ > was her last coherent thought before she passed out and toppled over onto the ground.

\--------------------

Spike watched from the shadows as Willow wobbled along the street drinking from the paper bag held in her hand. < _What the bloody hell is the Slayer thinking letting her be alone tonight?_ > Spike knew that this was the witch and wolf’s anniversary. He knew that she would be a wreck tonight but apparently the rest of her friends hadn’t given it a second thought. He followed her as she made her drunken way back to the dorm. He growled softly when she didn’t go inside the safety of the building but instead stumbled to the bench just outside of the park. He chain smoked as he watched her finish the bottle and grimaced when she started babbling to the stars. < _I don’t’ need another bloody Dru_ _on my hands_.  > When she toppled over he stubbed out his cigarette and slid out of the shadows. He stood over the passed out witch wondering what he was doing back in Sunnydale. He had never meant to return.

\---------------------

He woke up in another seedy motel with another bloody hangover. He groaned rubbing his forehead until the memories of the night before cleared a bit. He remembered going to an S&M club for vampires and their human pets. There had been one pet there with long red hair and green eyes. After several shot of tequila he had propositioned her owner. The other vampire gave in quickly when he realized that Spike had about a hundred years on him. Spike turned his head to check the bed. Sprawled across the pillow was the body of the red-haired pet. Two puncture wounds on her neck explained her death.

Her body was beaten and bruised. Spike vaguely remembered calling her Willow and her response that her name wasn’t Willow. That had set him off and he had beaten her until she cried out for mercy and let him call her any name he wanted. Spike shook himself at the rush of pity and disgust that went through him as he remembered his treatment of the girl. < _She was a friggin’ Happy Meal_.  > He reminded himself. He frowned; he’d had to do that a lot lately. He’d have to get drunk before he could hunt and in the morning the memories of the kill would turn his stomach. < _I’m turning into the poof._ > He groaned again as he realized that he had returned to the feeding habits of his fledgling years before Angelus had taught him to enjoy the pain and suffering of his victims. < _Damn, even without the chip I’m neutered._ > He dragged himself off the bed and grabbed his clothes from the floor next to the bed. < _Maybe it’s time to go see that bloody sire of mine._ >

\-------------------

Spike shifted Willow’s body on the bench and sat down next to her holding her head in his lap. He lit another cigarette.

“You know luv you really shouldn’t be out here at night all alone. You know the evil creatures of the dark would just love to get you alone.” He brushed a lock of hair away from her cheek exposing the twin bite marks on her neck. “Even these won’t keep you safe from everything. And demons will know how long it’s been since you were marked. Eventually someone will take the risk that I’m gone.” He traced the marks with his finger. He lowered his head to her neck allowing his game face to slide over his human features. “We can’t have that now can we pet?” Willow gasped anf struggled slightly as his fangs pierced her neck. She sighed and relaxed against him as he drew some of her sweet nectar into his mouth. < _So sweet, so sweet, it’s been too long Red._ > He pulled back before he lost himself in her. She whimpered and twisted her head towards him.

“Spike?” She whispered.

“Hello cutie.” He leaned over and licked the new wound he had made. She muttered incoherently and passed out again. He frowned as she shivered. He slid out from beneath her head and stripped off his leather duster. Wrapping her in the coat he picked up her limp form and headed for the dorm. “You know maybe I’ve underestimated that Slayer of yours. She seemed to know I was watching you earlier.” Spike booted open the door to the dorms. < _Hope Slutty isn’t home._ > He carried Willow up two flights of stairs and down the hallway to her room. Setting her feet to the floor and wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her upright he knocked on her door.

Buffy stopped her constant pacing at the knock on her door.

“Willow?!” She cried as she flung the door open. She stared at the bleached blond vampire standing in the hallway fist raised to pound on the door again. He eyes traveled over to see the limp form of Willow by his side. She reached for the stake in the waistband of her jeans.

“None of that Slayer.” Spike raised his hand and stepped back. “Just bringing her home. Found her on a bench in the park. Pissed.” He handed Willow to the Slayer who verified that the witch was unharmed except for the new bite mark on her neck. Buffy glanced at Spike.

“It needed to be refreshed. Demons can tell how old it is and some of them might take the chance that I’m not around anymore.” He shrugged and leaned against the doorjamb. He couldn’t feel the barrier that meant he was uninvited but he decided to let the Slayer make that call.

“Were you the one who got her drunk too?” Buffy asked angrily as she started to strip Willow’s clothes from her body. She turned to glare at Spike. Grinning he turned his back before answering her.

“Nope. After she left you at the mall she headed to that liquor store near the junkyard. Then she headed back here drinking her bottle. She passed out on the bench across the street. I think I’m going to have a little talk with that storekeeper about selling to minors.” His mouth set in a grim line. Buffy tapped him on the shoulder and handed him his duster as he turned around. His eyes found Willow dressed in an oversize tee-shirt snuggly tucked into bed.

“Thanks for bringing her home. I just wish I knew what happened tonight that she went and got drunk.”

“You mean you don’t know? Don’t you people listen to her when she talks to you?” Spike’s voice started to rise.

“Of course I listen to her! And I don’t walk away from her when she needs a friend either!” Buffy glared back at Spike her own voice rising as well.

“Look Slayer I left because if I stayed in this town I’d have to kill you eventually and I didn’t think the witch would like that much.” Spike’s hand shot out and grabbed Buffy by the throat. He threw her onto her bed and plopped down next to her before she had a chance to recover. “Now listen here. This was her anniversary, or it should have been if the wolf hadn’t left. Never did understand it myself but Dru always got mushy about anniversaries, got right furious if I forgot them. Figure that’s the problem with the witch today.” Spike patted his pockets looking for a cigarette. Without thinking Buffy got up and opened a drawer in Willow’s desk. She grabbed a pack from the stash there and tossed them to Spike.

“You’re right. I didn’t even think about that.” Buffy grabbed an ashtray from the desk and handed it to Spike.

“Thanks pet.” He lit a cigarette and drew the smoke into his undead lungs. He pushed himself up from the bed. “I’ll be going then.” He headed for the door stopping for a moment on the threshold. “Would you give her this when she wakes up?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a CD case. Buffy took it from him and nodded. He smiled at Willow’s sleeping form and disappeared out the door.

Buffy closed the door behind him. She looked at the CD case turning it over in her hands **. For Red** was the only writing on the case.  < _Spike’s got beautiful handwriting_ > Buffy noticed absently as she traced the loops of the R. Sighing she placed the CD on the desk where Amy’s cage had been, Willow had finally been successful in deratting her. < _We need a new pet_ > Buffy thought absently. She looked at Willow. < _Some protector you got there Wills._ > She grinned. < _Wonder_ _when he’s going to figure out he’s in love with her?_ > She laughed. She couldn’t wait to see Spike’s face when that hit him.

Still smiling the Slayer turned off the light and headed to bed.

\--------------------

Willow’s eyelids fluttered as she awoke with a groan. < _Oh no, not again. Dammit I said no more alcohol for Willow. Bad Willow._ > She squinted against the early morning sun and raised her head a few inches from her pillow. She spotted the Motrin, water and CD case sitting on her desk next to her bed. Grinning slightly she looked across the room where the Slayer was still asleep curled around her stuffed toy Mr. Gordo. < _Thanks Buffy. Don’t need ‘em but thanks._ > Willow closed her eyes and searched for her center through the blinding pain in her head. Grounding herself she muttered << **Pain is of no moment to me, what I will is what I feel, begone pain that plagues me, sweetness refill, so mote it be.** >> With a rush of power her headache vanished to be replaced by a feeling of mental clarity. Shaking her hair from her face Willow sat up fully and reached for the glass of water. < _Yuck, too bad that spell can’t get rid of morning breath_.  > She drained the glass of water and picked up the CD case. **For Red** _._ < _Spike?_ > Willow frowned and opened the case. There was a note folded on top of the CD.

_Red,_   
_Knew it would be bad for you today. Remember: his loss, your gain._   
_Play this and believe it. Don’t let your fire die._

Willow read the note her forehead creasing as she realized that Spike must have come back to town last night and he hadn’t stopped to see her. < _Well if he had I was too piss drunk to remember it_.  > Sighing she threw her legs over the side of the bed and went in search of her portable CD player and headphones. Finding them buried under her leather coat she dug them out and returned to her bed. She slid the CD into the player and clapped the headphones over her ears. She set the volume on low figuring that Spike would have punk rock blaring at her, instead she heard the faint but distinctive sound of a country guitar. Restarting the CD she raised the volume until she could clearly hear the strains of a Garth Brooks song. She giggled. < _Who knew that Spike was a closet country fan?_ >   
  


_We call them cool_   
_Those hearts that have no scars to show_   
_The ones that never do let go_   
_And risk the tables being turned_

_We call them fools_   
_Those who dance within the flames_   
_Who chance the sorrow and the shame_   
_That always comes with getting burned_   
 

Willow’s giggles faded as she listened to the words. She had been a fool after all believing that she and Oz could work everything out. She should have been smart enough to know that her attraction to Xander was a symptom of worse problems. She never should have gotten involved with Oz in the first place. She’d spent ten years loving Xander from afar and that had worked pretty well. She hadn’t gotten hurt, much. Definitely not as much as when Oz left. That was the policy to go back to she decided. Don’t put your feelings out there to get stomped on.

  
_But you’ve got to be tough_   
_When consumed by desire_   
_Cause it’s not enough just to_   
_Stand outside the fire_   
 

Could she do that? Could she bottle up her emotions for the rest of her life? After all, she argued with herself, there were many different forms of love. Maybe she just wanted to cut herself off from the Eros form. She felt her face grow hot as she thought < _But then I’ll never get to kiss Spike_.  >

  
_We call them strong_   
_Those who can face this world alone_   
_Who seem to get by on their own_   
_Those who will never take a fall_   
 

Yep that was the right decision. If she never took the chance with anyone no one could ever let her down again. She would be strong.

  
_We call them weak_   
_Who are unable to resist_   
_The slightest chance love might exist_   
_And for that forsake it all_   
_They’re so hell bent on giving_   
_Walking a wire_   
_Convinced it’s not living if you_   
_Stand outside the fire_   
 

Was that living? If she hadn’t taken a chance back in freshman year of high school she never would have met Buffy. She glanced over at the Slayer who was mumbling in her sleep. She would have missed everything they had done together. Okay so now she knew about the things that went bump in the night but now she felt stronger than ever because she stood up to them and fought them. And that’s the way it was with love she realized.

  
_Standing outside the fire_   
_Standing outside the fire_   
_Life is not tried it is merely survived_   
_If you stand outside the fire_   
 

She didn’t want to just survive. That’s what she had been doing before Buffy came to Sunnydale. Now she was living, okay so it hurt like hell but it was still living. She didn’t want to go back to being the mousy little research girl. She liked the new Willow she had become. The Willow she never would have become if she had played it safe.

  
_There’s this love that is burning_   
_Deep in my soul_   
_Constantly yearning to get out of control_   
_Wanting to fly higher and higher_   
_I can’t abide standing outside the fire_   
 

She’d had two happy years with Oz. She didn’t want to trade that. And she knew that someday she would want to love again. In fact, she frowned again, there already was a new love burning in her soul. She grinned. Maybe Garth had got it right. You can’t live life standing outside the fire.

“Right pet, if you listened close and used your head you’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t mope about anymore.” Spike’s cockney accent came through the headphones startling Willow into ‘eeping’ softly. “Now I’m only going to say this once: You have more fire and passion in you than that wolf ever knew and it would be a real shame if you refused to show it because of him. If you do that luv he wins. And you never struck me as a quitter.” Willow nodded her head and ran her hand over the note she still clutched. “Okay pet this next song is just because I’m still trying to spur you into letting me rip the puppy’s head off.” Willow shook her head at the hopeful tone in his voice as the next Garth song started.

Halfway through the song Willow began to wonder what Spike had been thinking. Listening to a song about a man who cheats on his wife wasn’t exactly helping her mindset, that is until she got to the third verse.

  
_She runs back down the hallway, through the bedroom door_   
_She reaches for the pistol kept in the dresser drawer_   
_She tells the lady in the mirror: he won’t do this again_   
_Tonight will be the last time she wonders where he’s been_   
_And the thunder rolls…and the thunder rolls_

_The thunder rolls and the lightning strikes_   
_Another love grows cold on a moonless night_   
_And the storm blows all out of control_   
_Deep in her heart the thunder rolls_   
 

By the end of the song Willow was laughing quietly. < Just _like Spike to advocate violence against cheating spouses!_ >

“Feeling better?” A soft voice from across the room asked. Willow lifted her head to smile at Buffy.

“Yeah. Thanks for the water.”

“Least I could do. I’m sorry I forgot about yesterday.”

“S’okay. Sorry I stumbled in drunk last night. Thanks for putting me to bed.”

“Uh Willow, you didn’t stumble in here. Spike carried you here.” Willow eyes got wide at Buffy’s confession.

“Spike was here? With me? In his arms?” As Willow continued to babble and turn an interesting shade of crimson Buffy smiled to herself. < _Well, well, looks like Spike’s not the only one with a crush_.  >

\----------------------

“Ma’am. We have news on Hostile 17.” Riley stood at attention until Professor Walsh nodded for him to continue. “Approximately one month ago we ceased to receive information from his implant. It has been determined that he left the area and his whereabouts are currently unknown. We have analyzed the last data that we received from the implant and it appears that the implant was exposed to a very high magnetic flux, which most likely caused the malfunction. It has been determined that Willow Rosenburg and Buffy Summers were in his company moments before the implant failed.” Riley gave his report in a monotone while staring at a point somewhere over Walsh’s shoulder. He avoided direct eye contact at all costs.

Walsh’s features twisted in rage. She slammed her hand down on the computer board in front of her.

“Do you believe they guessed the nature of our experiment?”

“No Ma’am. They appear to believe that his escape was genuine.” Riley answered in the negative. Inwardly he snorted in disgust as he remembered Walsh ordering them to release Hostile 17 back into the demon populace. Her explanation was that she wanted to study what would happen to a vampire no longer able to feed. There were several theories currently being debated and she had agreed to the experiment in order to settle the argument. One theory held that the vampire would simply starve to death unable to feed due to the pain caused by the implant. Another stated that eventually the vampire would become so hunger crazed that he would attempt to feed and the chip would cause enough shock to the nervous system to kill him. A variation on that theory was that the chip would malfunction at that point. The final theory and one that Riley had supported was that the vampire would be driven mad by the pain and hunger and would eventually kill himself. No one had expected the vampire to ask a human for aid, especially not the human known as the Slayer.

Walsh had initially been ecstatic when Hostile 17 contacted the Slayer. Here was an opportunity to see how the Slayer operated without having to attempt to infiltrate her group of supporters. Riley felt his jaw clench at that memory. He had been the one chosen to infiltrate the group and he had been honored at the trust placed in him, in addition he admitted to a certain interest in the blond Slayer. Hostile 17’s dependence on the Slayer had made his part in the operation void.

“Should we move to Phase Beta ma’am?”

“Yes. We must ascertain Hostile 17’s whereabouts. I believe the girl, Willow is the most likely to have that information. She was rather friendly with the vampire as I recall. Bring in the Slayer as well. I should be interested to see if she could be recruited. Leave the boy and the Watcher. But I want the former demon, Anya.” Professor Walsh suddenly grinned. Riley shuddered at the feral light that appeared in her eyes. “It should be interesting to interrogate the Rosenburg girl. We’ve never had a chance to examine a witch before. Dismissed.” She waved a hand in Riley’s direction before returning to the analysis she had been concentrating on before he interrupted her.

“Yes Ma’am.” Riley saluted and turned on his heel. As soon as the door shut behind him his shoulders relaxed and his military air vanished. “Come with me.” He snapped his fingers at his two friends waiting for him by the door to Walsh’s office. Graham and Forest exchanged glances and then fell in behind Riley as he walked quickly down the sterile white corridors of the underground base. “Get your teams together. I want one for each objective. I will lead the assault on the Slayer, Forest your target is the demon Anya and Graham you collect the witch.” The three friends separated at the entrance to the barracks each going to collect members of their assault teams.

\-----------------------------

The tip of Willow’s tongue protruded from her lips as she concentrated on twisting the long firey strands of her hair into a french braid. With a grateful sigh she slid the elastic onto the end of the braid and stretched her aching arms out in front of her. She glanced into the mirror and smiled in approval of her appearance. She turned to the bed where she had laid out her outfit for this evening. The whole gang was meeting at Giles’ house for their annual Christmas Eve party. Even Angel and Cordelia had come from LA to join the celebration. When they arrived yesterday they had shown up at Willow’s door wearing identical Cheshire cat grins. Willow had known they were up to something. Cordelia had announced that she and Willow were going shopping for outfits for the party. Angel had handed her his Gold Card and told her to buy whatever she wanted. It was his Christmas present to her. Willow had to smile as she remembered the look on Cordy’s face when she saw the outfit that Willow had picked out. Now Willow smoothed the soft black leather of the skirt over her hips. Lambskin the salesman had told her when she commented on the suppleness of the material. A dark green chenille sweater with long flared sleeves cut in an eyelet pattern hugged her upper body before flaring slightly to rest on her hips. Soft black suede boots and black pantyhose completed the outfit. A pair of silver teardrop earrings with jade inlay followed the curve of her neck. Cordy had even convinced Willow to cut her hair so now a fluff of bangs rested against the paleness of her forehead. Willow frowned as she leaned closer to the mirror to put on the new makeup she had purchased. She couldn’t really see well in the dim light of her room. She pondered for a moment before scooping up the makeup and heading for the bathroom. She never noticed the shadow that watched her passage down the hall.

\-----------------------

Spike rested his back against a tree and puffed on his cigarette. He stared up at the dorm, finding Willow’s window he shifted until he could see her silhouette moving inside. He groaned as he saw her getting dressed. As he flicked his cigarette a shimmer of light against the silver ring he wore caught his attention and his mind drifted back to another Christmas Eve almost two hundred years earlier.

_“William.” William raised his head from the book he was reading and looked up into the chocolate brown eyes of his sire. He brushed a lock of brown hair out of his face and smiled at his lover._

_“Angelus.” William placed the book on the end table next to the couch he was curled up upon. He moved his legs from the couch giving Angelus room to sit next to him. Angelus slid onto the couch with the boneless grace one sees in a predator. William smiled to himself; he always pictured Angelus as a great panther, dark and deadly in the night. He reached up to stroke Angelus’s cheek. Angelus pulled his head away from William’s touch. William snatched his hand back a look of hurt in his ice blue eyes._

_“Nah, Will. Don’t be looking at me like that. ‘Tis just that I have something for ye.” Angelus handed his childe a black velvet box. William opened the lid and removed a silver ring with a blood red stone in the setting. “ ‘Tis a bloodstone.” Angelus fiddled with the edge of his shirt. William looked closely at the ring. The band was etched with ivy vines which twisted their way up the setting cradling the stone. The stone itself was the color of blood and glowed deep within as if there was a fire burning within the stone’s heart. William slid it on his hand and allowed the firelight to strike sparks from the stone as he reached once again for Angelus. Once again Angelus pulled away._

_“What’s wrong Angelus? Have I done something?” William trembled slightly at the thought that he had displeased his sire. He had no wish to be punished again so soon after the last beating. His back still had not fully healed from the leather whip Angelus had used._

_“Nah. ‘Tisn’t you Will.” Angelus jumped to his feet and began to pace the room. “Darla’s coming home.” William shifted uneasily. Darla was Angelus’ sire and she had no love for his childe. Especially since she knew that Angelus preferred William’s attentions to her own. “Things will change with her here. I canna protect you from that. The bloodstone is the only thing I can do. It’s keyed to my blood and yours. If ye ever need me drop your blood on the stone and call for me. I’ll find ye, I promise.” Angelus gripped William’s chin and stared into his eyes. He brought his lips down onto his childe’s bruising them such was the desperation in his kiss. William reached up and tangled his fingers in the dark strands of his sire’s hair and dragged him down onto the couch with him. The fire burned on in the hearth and in the heart’s of the lovers. The bloodstone glowing with the exchange of their love and blood._

Spike twisted his hand letting the lamplight play over the stone. After Darla came home everything changed. She didn’t agree with the way Angelus raised his childe and she demanded right of sire. Spike had no choice but to go to her bed. And Angelus had no choice but to watch. It was during that time that William finally died and Spike was born. Darla was the one who cut his hair and bleached it blond the first time. She said he was too vain with the way he kept it long and curled. She was the one who forced Angelus to punish him if he fed from anything but the innocent. Gone were the days when he was free to prey only on those who deserved it, the murders, rapists and other scum. Now he was forced to feed from children. Darla was the one who brought a pair of lovers to him and handed him a railroad spike. Something in William snapped then and he fully embraced those ways even shedding his former name and becoming Spike in truth. Angelus could do nothing to stop it as he was undergoing his own ‘training’ under Darla’s watchful eye. When she was done she had a pair. The pair that would terrorize eastern Europe for a hundred years.

When Darla left again Angelus and Spike found Drusilla. As Angel having his soul changed him so Drusilla changed Spike. Pieces of William came back. But by this time Angelus was twisted by hate and rage. His favorite childe had been corrupted under his very eyes and he had been powerless to stop it. The light had died from his eyes and when he saw it spark in Spike’s he had done everything to put it out again. He would have succeeded except for a young gypsy girl and her clan.

Spike looked at the ring on his finger. He’d never used it. In all the years that Darla tortured him, when Angelus abandoned him, when the mob in Prague attacked him and Dru. He’d never called. Not even when he was hiding in a dark alley, shaking from hunger and unable to feed. Yet through all the years and everything he’d worn the ring. He’d taken it off when Angelus returned, because it wasn’t his Angelus, that Angelus had been mad driven to insanity from eighty years of suppression and an undying love for the Slayer. He’d been a rabid dog, not his sire at all.

Spike watched as Willow dressed. He slid his hand into the pocket of his duster and clutched the black velvet box that lay inside. He pushed himself away from the tree and, keeping to the shadows, entered the dorm. He waited in the hall outside her room until he saw her leave for the bathroom. Then he snuck into her room and placed the box and a note on top of her coat which was lying on the bed. He had to smile when he saw the coat he had bought for her. She never went anywhere without it. Hearing a noise from the hall he climbed over the desk and out the open window onto the tree branch that was just outside. He pressed his back up against the bark and watched as Willow discovered his gift.

\----------------------

Willow stared at the box in her hand. With shaking fingers she opened it and gasped when she saw the ring inside. Ivy vines were etched around a plain silver band and fire shot from the deep red stone surmounted on it. She picked up the note that had been underneath the box and blinked back tears as she read it.

_It’s a bloodstone, keyed to me. If you ever need me drop your blood on the stone and call. I’ll find you. Merry Christmas Willow._

Willow slid the ring onto her fingers and watched, startled, as it glowed softly. She shivered as the cool breeze whipped in from the open window. Her eyes found the shape of the tree outside and squinting she thought she saw a figure against the trunk. Laughing at her folly she reached for her coat and headed out the door knowing she was going to be late. Just before she left the room she glanced back over her shoulder and whispered “Merry Christmas Spike.” Then she hurried out and shut the door firmly. In the tree a shadow quietly dropped to the ground and disappeared around the corner of the building.

\-----------------------

As Willow exited her dorm she glanced quickly around the street before moving under the closest streetlamp. It was better to stick to the light in Sunnydale. Willow clutched her backpack feeling the shape of her stake and water gun hidden inside. Any vampire out for a quick meal would have a surprise coming to them. Willow giggled as she realized that even with Spike’s protection her caution was still deeply ingrained. She crossed the street to the park intending to cut through the outer path to Giles’ house rather than walk around past the Bronze.

As she reached the dark corner of the park she tilted her head and slowed slightly. < _Footsteps?_ > She looked back over her shoulder. Although nothing was moving if she squinted she could make out the faint outline of a man standing next to a tree not far behind her. She drew in a deep breath and prepared to run for the gate ahead of her. Before she had managed to take a step they were on her.

She wrenched her water gun out of her pack and sprayed a stream of holy water at the man blocking her. He didn’t flinch when the water hit him in the face. < _Oh Goddess, they’re human_.  > A hand fell on her shoulder and Willow grabbed it twisting forward sharply and throwing her attacker to the ground. He landed heavily but managed to sweep his legs under her feet and knock her down with him. A booted foot stomped onto her hand as she struggled to get to her feet. She screamed as she felt the bone break under the pressure. A second foot slammed down on her other hand and a gloved hand wrapped around her neck choking the breath from her. She felt a sharp prick in the side of her neck and then the world grew fuzzy. Her eyes rested on the boot holding her hand down, the black combat boot that had broken her wrist. Her last coherent thought before the darkness took her was _< The Initiative_.  >


	3. Chapter 3

Spike watched from the shadows as Willow crossed the street to the park. He waited until she was past the stone wall that separated the bike path and jogging path before moving to follow her. Before he got to the curb he saw five figures slipping into the park behind Willow. As one turned to look at the street Spike caught a glimpse of a gun. A low growl reverberated in his chest as he recognized the figures as members of the Initiative. And they were after his Willow. He kept to the shadows and followed closely behind the commandos as they entered the park. He saw Willow turn and catch sight of the men following her. He could smell her panic as she prepared to run and then her full blown terror as the men jumped out at her.

With a feral growl Spike leaped from the shadows intending to land on the men holding his Willow on the ground. He never made it. There was an impact on the side of his head that flung him limply against the stone wall bordering the park. Shaking his head and forcing his eyes to focus he watched as five more men detached themselves from the trees and started towards him. Each one shook out something as they came closer. Spike finally realized what they were when the lead figure spun the weapon towards Spike’s leg and connected with a sickening crunch. < _Nunchucks. Wooden ones. Oh shit._ > Spike tucked himself into a ball and rolled at the man’s feet. The man and Spike went down in a flurry of limbs and boots. Spike got lucky and gripped the man’s neck twisting savagely. There was a crack and the man went limp in his arms. The other four commandos hesitated.

“Remember the implant is no longer functioning.” One man warned as he shifted to his right intending to circle behind Spike.

“Get her out of here!” Another of the men turned towards the group that was holding Willow. “We’ll bring him if we can.” Spike gathered his feet underneath him and sprung at the man. His left leg gave out and he stumbled but managed to land on the commando pinning the nunchuks between them. His face shifted as his fangs slid into place. The man screamed as Spike pierced his neck and drained his life. The other three soldiers took advantage of Spike’s momentary distraction and fell on him in a group. Spike’s head rocked backwards as one nunchuck caught him under the eye splitting the skin. He reached out with clawed fingers and tore out the soldier’s throat. Spike gagged as one of the remaining two wrapped the nunchuck chain around his neck and pulled it tight. If he had needed to breathe he would have been done for, as it was the solider had made his last mistake. Spike lunged forward and threw the man over his head onto the ground in front of him. He closed his hand around the man’s throat and crushed his windpipe. Spike dragged himself to his feet and glared at the one remaining solider. His eyes glinted in the moonlight as he hissed at the shaking commando.

“Where are they taking her?” Spike growled at the man. The solider shook his head and backed away a step to get room so he could get the nunchucks spinning again. Spike edged forward cautious of his broken ankle. The nunchuck snapped out and slammed into Spike’s shoulder. He roared as the bone was shoved from the joint. He took another step and then crumpled to the ground. The solider stepped forward warily still spinning the nunchucks. He whipped them across Spike’s exposed back and grinned when the vampire sprawled bonelessly at his feet. Spike struggled to push himself up with his one good arm. His legs hung limply in the dust. The solider dropped the nunchucks in the grass and reached down to grip Spike’s head between his hands.

“You killed my friends.” He began to twist Spike’s neck backwards intending to rip it right off the hostile’s shoulders.

“And you hurt my witch.” Spike’s hand shot up and grabbed the boy’s hair. He pulled as he swept his legs across the soldier’s feet. The solider tumbled to the dirt pinned beneath Spike. “That wasn’t smart.”

The teenagers waiting in line at the Bronze shuddered and pulled their coats tighter around themselves as a scream rang out from the park. They pressed closer to the entrance of the club as the scream trailed off into a sickening gurgle and then silence.

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“Xander!” Buffy whined as she dragged her friend off his girlfriend for the fourth time that night. “Would you two please wait until you get home to do that.” She stood in front of Giles’ couch with her hands on her hips. “Sorry Buff. I’m just following Christmas tradition.” Xander held up his hands to his friend. “See?” He pointed up at the ceiling over the couch where someone had tacked mistletoe. Buffy’s gaze shifted to Anya who contrived to look innocent.

“What? It’s not like I put it there.” Anya’s eyes darted around the room under Buffy’s scrutiny. Buffy’s eyebrow arched upwards in disbelief. She opened her mouth to deliver a blistering retort when there was a knock at the front door. Glaring at the lovers she grabbed the mistletoe and yanked it from the ceiling on her way to answer the door.

“Merry Christmas.” The brunette standing on the stoop chirped. Cordelia handed Buffy a stack of presents and pushed past her into the front hallway. Angel remained on the stoop smiling cynically at Cordelia’s back.

“Merry Christmas Buffy.” His gaze softened as he looked at the petite blond trying to balance a huge stack of boxes.

“Merry Christmas Angel. Come in please.” She invited and he stepped forward just in time to catch several boxes as Buffy lost control of the stack. Buffy and Angel carried the presents into the den where Cordelia was greeting Xander and Anya. They placed the presents under the tree and shared a small smile as Xander tried to convince Cordelia to try some of his homemade eggnog.

“Where are the others?” Angel rose to his feet brushing off the pine needles that had clung to his dark gray slacks.

“Olivia and Mom are upstairs doing some last minute wrapping, Giles is getting the drinks and Willow isn’t here yet.”

“She’s walking here? Alone?” Angel frowned as he thought of the slight girl who had given him back his soul being chased through the night by demons.

“She’s under Spike’s protection.” Buffy shrugged. “I tried to tell her to come with me but she insisted. She even used her resolve face.” Angel smiled knowing that Willow was safe as long as she wore his childe’s mark.

After Spike had left Sunnydale he had eventually visited Angel in LA. Thanks to Willow’s gentle influence Spike had started to revert to the boy William that Angel had turned those many years ago. Angel was overjoyed to see the reemergence of the boy he thought had died over a hundred years before. Sire and childe had rediscovered the friendship they had shared before Darla had ‘trained’ them. If Spike had stayed longer Angel was sure that their love for each other would have returned as well. But Spike had been determined to return to Sunnydale for Willow’s anniversary. Angel smothered a smile at the memory of his childe’s frantic Internet search for the songs he wanted to copy for his ‘friend’. Angel wondered when his childe would realize that Willow owned his heart. Angel knew that he didn’t mind. The redhead owned his heart too due to her courage and generosity of spirit that had given him a second chance at life. Even his demon approved of Willow although it still screamed at him to turn her and take her for his own. The father in him knew that the gentle redhead was the perfect foil for his brash childe and he wanted that happiness for his son. He had intended to speak to Willow about it during the party tonight. Crossing the room to help Giles with the tray of drinks he entertained the notion that Spike might make an appearance.

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“Forest? What are you doing here?” Riley whispered at his sergeant glancing up at the brightly lit window above the bush he was crouched behind.

“Our objective is already in the house. We were unable to detain it during its trip here. It and the boy drove here with some others.” Forest explained motioning to Joyce Summer’s car parked in the driveway. “Your objective was with them as well as three civilians. We deemed it too great a risk and decide to rendezvous with you here.”

“All right here’s the plan. I will cut the power and then we will enter. Stun all civilians. Remove the objectives quickly.” Riley nodded to one of his men who moved over to the power meter with a pair of wire cutters.

“Everyone get ready.” Riley slipped his night vision goggles on and motioned to his man who cut the power. The two teams of commandos raced around the side of the house and entered. Through his goggles Riley noted five silhouettes in the den. He raised his stun gun taking aim at the young human male sitting next to the former demon. Just as he was about to fire his gun was wrenched from his hand and he felt a sharp pain across the back of his neck. Then he blacked out.

Angel let his features shift when the power died knowing that he could see better with his vampire sight. He crept out of the kitchen and into the front hall in time to see the solider aiming at Xander. After disabling him the vampire lunged at the remaining soldiers spaced around the room.

Buffy’s Slayer senses allowed her to note the positions of the soldiers as well and she turned to grab the gun from one sneaking up behind Giles.

Anya’s demon eyes easily pierced the darkness and she moved to cover Buffy’s back. Xander dropped to the floor and began to worm his way to the computer desk knowing that Giles kept a flashlight in the top drawer. Giles calmly dropped the tray he was carrying and walked unhesitantly to the side wall where he pushed a small switch. Instantly there was a loud hum from the basement and the lights flashed back on. The commandos wearing the night vision goggles were instantly blinded. It took only minutes to disable and handcuff them. Joyce and Olivia rushed down from upstairs and were reassured that no one was injured. Once all the soldiers had been placed in the basement except for the two apparently in charge Buffy turned to Giles.

“Nice work with the lights Giles.”

“Yes, well. After hearing of the Initiative’s methods I thought the installation of a small generator was prudent. The blindness should be temporary.” Giles pushed his glasses up on his nose and went to fetch a towel from the kitchen so he could clean up the eggnog that had spilled onto his hardwood floor.

“Cordelia?” Angel asked looking around the room for his secretary.

“Here.” Cordelia raised a hand as she crawled out from under the coffee table. “Didn’t want to trip anyone.” She explained as she stood and straightened her skirt. “Anyone hurt?”

“Well they are.” Xander grinned crookedly as he held Riley’s gun on both of the lead commandos. From the way he was holding it they didn’t have any doubts that he knew how to use it.

“Who are they?” Anya asked peering at the two soldiers sitting bound and gagged on the couch.

“Members of the Initiative I would guess. Although what they want here I don’t know.” Olivia stated from her perch on the computer chair. “Perhaps they were looking for Spike?” She raised her eyebrow at the two soldiers. They continued to stare straight ahead refusing to acknowledge her question.

“Okay you’re going to make us do this the hard way aren’t you?” Buffy leaned over the back of the couch and cracked her knuckles. Both soldiers straightened and tensed their muscles in anticipation of a beating. “We’ll wait until Willow gets here and then she can try that new ‘Tell Me True’ spell she’s been mumbling about.”

Forest couldn’t hide a grin at the witch’s name. Joyce saw him trying to control it.

“Oh God.” She put a hand to her mouth and turned to look at Buffy. “They went after her too.”

Angel and Buffy sprinted for the door at her words but the door burst open before they could reach it and a battered form dragged itself over the threshold.

“Who…?” Buffy stumbled to a stop staring at the figure lying at her feet. She was unceremoniously shoved to the side as Angel rushed past her and dragged the limp form into his arms.

“William.”

Buffy hesitated only a second before dropping to her knees next to Angel and his battered childe.

“Angel…” She stretched out a hand to touch his shoulder but jerked it back when he turned to her displaying his demonic features and growling loudly.

“Mine.” He clutched Spike’s abused form closer to his chest ignoring the whimper of protest that left his childe at the action.

“Yours.” Giles agreed as he approached the pair moving slowly in the face of Angel’s possessiveness. “But you need to let us help him.” Giles reached for Spike’s arm and with Angel’s help pulled him to his feet. “The sofa.” Angel nodded finally controlling his demon and resuming his human face. Together the two men gently carried Spike to the sofa. Xander and Cordelia dragged the two captive soldiers from the sofa leaving the way open for Spike to be placed on the leather surface. He groaned as his shoulder hit the cushions causing bolts of agony to flow through his body.

“Dislocated.” He managed to gasp out at Giles’ raised eyebrow. Giles nodded and shared a look with Angel. The vampire ducked his head in acknowledgment and joined his childe on the sofa. Over Spike’s weak protests Angel gripped him around the waist and dragged him against his chest so that the blond vampire’s back rested against his sire’s chest. Spike closed his eyes as memories of all the times he had sat in this position assailed his mind. Giles reached down and gripped Spike’s shoulder quickly wrenching it forward. Spike howled as the bone clicked back into joint. His demonic face slipped on and he lunged for Giles who stepped back out of range. Angelus held his struggling childe close his features also slipping into vampire ridges.

“He needs blood.” Giles stated after examining Spike’s injuries. Angel nodded again.

“Here.” Buffy stepped forward her jaw set and offered her wrist to the injured vampire.

“Buffy!” Joyce grabbed her daughter’s arm and glared at her. “Are you crazy?”

“He’ll heal faster with Slayer blood in him Mom. If he’s here in Sunnydale he’s here because of Willow and if he’s hurt and came here it’s probably because he was hurt trying to protect Willow.” Buffy removed her arm from her mother’s grasp and once again offered it to Spike. Angel growled at her and pushed the proffered arm away.

Angel turned his childe to face him and then grasped Spike by the back of the neck. He dragged his childe’s face against his neck and closed his eyes.

“Sire…” The tortured whisper penetrated Angel’s concentration and he opened his eyes to see his childe gazing at him with agony in his golden eyes. Spike’s eyes flickered to look at the vein in Angel’s neck before returning to his sire’s face. “Please?” Angel’s heart broke at that. Spike never begged, especially not him, especially not after Darla. It took a moment but then Angel remembered ‘training’ Spike never to drink from him unless granted permission.

“Granted.” Angel growled the word low in his throat and Spike instantly buried his fangs in Angel’s neck. Angle closed his eyes as the sexual bliss that accompanied a vampire blood exchange wracked his frame. He moaned. Spike heard the moan that escaped his sire’s lips and bit down even harder feeling the surge of satisfaction as much as Angel. His moan matched his sire’s as they clung together on a Watcher’s couch with a Slayer watching over them. In such a strange situation the breach between sire and childe was finally healed. Father and son rested against each other twined in each other’s arms.

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Willow moaned as she slowly returned to consciousness. Her head was pounding in time with her heartbeat and her mouth felt as if she had been sucking on cotton. Her eyelids refused to open at all and her shoulders ached awfully. She attempted to stretch her arms to remedy the stiffness and had to bite back a scream as she jostled her injured wrist. With the first bolt of pain down her arm her memories of the evening returned flooding her with panic. Ignoring the pounding in her head she forced her eyes open and had to restrain yet another scream as she took in her surroundings. She was in a lab, one that bore a remarkable similarity to the one that Spike had described from his capture. The walls were painted the stark white that characterized all hospitals and there was even the slightly antiseptic smell that reinforced the similarity. Along the walls on three sides were shelves that contained computer equipment and several trays that contained surgical supplies. Willow had spent enough time with her mother at the lab where she worked to recognize several of the tools as being part of a corner’s equipment. She shuddered when she realized that they were used in ‘studying’ the subjects brought to this lab. The fourth wall held a long mirror that she assumed was two way allowing spectators to watch the ‘fun’. A door was next to the mirror, it was locked with a combination security lock that Willow knew she could disable if only she could reach it. That prospect seemed unlikely considering that her arms were held to the table upon which she lay by steel cuffs and they were stretched painfully above and to each side of her head. Her legs were similarly spread and bound. The beautiful Christmas outfit she had agonized over was gone and in its place was a simple white jog bra and tight white jogging shorts. She forced back panic at her situation reminding herself that she was human and that the Initiative was only interested in demons. The door swung open silently and a tall thin woman with hair in a severe bun stepped through. She regarded Willow and raised an eyebrow at Willow’s gasp of horror.

“Ms. Rosenberg. I really expected more from you.” Willow watched in horror as her psychology professor stalk towards the table. “Now, if you will relate the whereabouts of Hostile 17 I shall see to it that you are returned to your residence.” She stopped by the table and gazed at Willow with such false sincerity that not even a child would have been fooled.

“Spike.” Willow stated in a flat tone. “His name is Spike. And I don’t know where he is.”

“Would you tell me if you did?”

“No.” Willow sighed knowing that it was true. Knowing the torture that Spike had gone through both in the hands of the Initiative and at the hands of his own kind she could not return him to such an existence.

“We never expected him to go to the Slayer for help you know. We simply expected that he would either starve or his own kind would kill him. It was rather traumatic to the board members to discover that their pet theories were so far off the mark.” Professor Walsh told Willow in a conversational tone.

“You let him escape.” Willow’s eyes widened as she realized that Spike had been released on purpose for further study.

“Of course.” Professor Walsh looked surprised that it had taken Willow this long to realize it.

“What are you going to do with me?”

“Study you of course, it’s what we do with all non-humans.” Professor Walsh turned away from the table and headed over to the corner where a tray of scalpels lay. She selected on and returned to the table. Willow tried to shrink back as the scalpel drifted towards the lines of her face.

“B..but I’m h..human.” Willow tried to keep her voice from becoming a shriek as she felt the cold metal touch her skin.

“Really? Are you sure my little witch?” Willow’s mind registered Walsh’s question just as she felt the scalpel slice into her skin and her shriek pierced the quiet of the lab.

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“Uh, Giles what’s going on with them?” Buffy motioned to the two vampires still on the sofa. Spike had finished feeding from Angel and his injuries had obviously healed. Now he simply rested against his sire’s chest with his eyes closed and no motion to show that he was still undead. Angel retained his vamperic features and growled any time someone got too close to his resting childe. A possessive arm remained wrapped around Spike’s shoulders while the free hand gently stroked his childe’s hair.

“I need blood.” Angel never even looked up from the blond vampire as he made his demand. Olivia pushed herself off from the wall where she had been resting and grabbed Joyce’s arm pulling her towards the front door.

“We’ll go. Joyce can drive.” As she pushed Buffy’s mother from the house she signaled with her eyes to Giles that she would explain everything to Joyce as they drove. Giles nodded to his lover. After the front door had slammed shut Giles sighed and dropped into the armchair next to the couch. He hastily shifted it a few feet away from the sofa when Angel growled at him.

“Quite. I would speculate that Angel’s behavior is directly related to the bond that he and Spike share. As sire he is bound to teach his childe how to be a proper vampire but he is also bound to protect him and avenge him if necessary. Add to that the fact that Angelus and Spike have been lovers and there is the added mate bond. I would surmise from comments both Spike and Angel have made that theirs was an extremely close relationship created through love as well as blood. Currently they have just reaffirmed that bond with the exchange of blood. I suggest that we treat them both very carefully for the next several hours.” Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them carefully with his handkerchief. Buffy glanced back over at the two men lying on the couch. Spike had pushed himself off from Angel's chest and was now sitting next to him avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. Angel still had a hand on his shoulder although both had resumed their normal appearance.

Spike was staring at his hands which were still visibly trembling from the accelerated healing his body had just gone through. Suddenly the sparkle from the bloodstone caught his attention. He cast a sideways glance at his sire and then back to the stone. He slowly raised a hand to the cut underneath his eye and calmly slashed it open with a fingernail. He raised the ring to the cut and smeared his blood over the stone.

“Angelus, I call you.” Spike stared directly at Angel as he whispered the words that bound his sire to his cause. Angel’s face morphed once again and he growled in agreement.

“I am yours, you are mine.” Angel grasped Spike by the back of the head again and twisted his childe’s head to the side. His fangs dropped down and he bit deeply into Spike’s neck tasting of his childe’s blood for the first time in 80 years. After Angel pulled back from Spike’s throat the two men lifted their gaze to the others still in the room.

“They have Willow.” The anguish in Spike’s voice was like a slap in the face for Buffy and Xander since it mirrored their feelings. Anya stumbled back, hand pressed to her lips. Cordelia caught her before she hit the wall and shoved her into an empty chair. Giles simply nodded, he had expected this revelation ever since Spike had dragged himself into the house.

“What do you know about this?” Xander whipped around to face the two commandos still bound in the corner of the living room. A loud snarl interrupted his question as Spike sprang off the couch and attempted to lunge towards the captives before Angel grabbed his arm and shoved him back down on the couch.

“It was you!” Spike glared at Riley his eyes flashing between gold and blue as the demon fought for control. “You’re the one who took me to that..place.” Angel’s demon face came to the front as he realized that this was the man responsible for his childe’s original torment. Before anyone could make a move Angelus had sprung across the room and grabbed Riley by the shirt and dragged him up off the floor. Riley flinched as Angelus snarled into his face.

“You. Hurt. My. Childe.” Angelus slammed Riley against the wall with each word. Riley’s head lolled on his neck as he fought to stay conscious. Angelus ripped the gag from his mouth and snarled at the commando again.

“Where is she?” Riley drew back and spat in Angelus’ face. Without a second thought Angelus tore his throat out.

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Willow hit the floor of the holding cell with a loud thud. She remained limp as the door clanged shut and the lights went out. Her throat ached from screaming and from the tears that she refused to cry. They could make her scream but they wouldn’t break her. She had read enough of the Watcher diaries to know that sooner or later she would break down and tell them everything they wanted to know no matter how strong her resolve. Her intention was to lie to them so often and so creatively that when she started telling them the truth they wouldn’t be able to distinguish it from the lies she had already told.

She knew why Walsh had started with cutting her. The professor wanted to see if Willow would and could heal herself of the relatively minor wounds before the next session. Although Willow hated to give her the satisfaction she knew that she would need to heal so that she would last longer. The longer she lasted the more time Buffy had to find her. Willow’s mind had not been dormant during the long hours she had spent with Walsh carving intricate designs into her flesh. She knew that Buffy had never been able to figure out where the Initiative had their headquarters. Willow had to find a way to let Buffy know where she was. The answer had come to her as she was thrown into the cell and she could feel the blood trickling down her arms and dripping off her fingers. Off one finger that had a very special ring on it. Her blood had already saturated the stone and she forced her strained vocal chords to whisper one word.

“Spike.”

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Angelus dropped Riley’s body to the floor. Buffy, Giles and Xander stared at him in shock. Adding to their shock was Anya’s reaction. She stepped forward and flung her arms around Angelus’ neck digging her heels into the carpet.

“Cordelia! Help!” She gasped as her arms strained and she slipped slightly trying to hold the enraged vampire in place. Cordelia slid around the vampire and demon and place herself directly in front of Forest.

“If you kill him Willow dies too.” She stated with tears streaming down her face. Angel stopped as suddenly as if he had been hit with a pail full of ice cold water. He struggled for control and finally managed to stamp down on his demon. He gently disengaged Anya’s arms from his neck and stalked back over to join his childe on the couch.

Giles stared at him and then shook himself and stood crossing the room to where Forest lay in the corner shaking and staring at Angel with terror filled eyes.

“I suggest that you cooperate with us.” Giles helped the terrified young man to his feet and removed the gag.

“Whatever you want…just keep him away from me.” Forest nodded his head wildly.

“Perhaps you had better tell us everything.” Giles murmured, failing to formulate one question out of the turmoil in his mind.

“When Hostile 17 was captured Professor Walsh saw it as an opportunity to settle a debate within the community. She arranged to have the vampire ‘escape’ so we could study the effects of the implant in a real world situation. We did not expect him to seek out the Slayer. However thanks to the implant’s transmitter we learned a great deal about the Slayer and her organization. When the implant ceased to function Walsh wanted the hostile recaptured so that we could remove the implant and determine why it malfunctioned. When we couldn’t find him Walsh decided that if we captured his support network we would be able to discover what had happened to the implant, his location as well as get some information about the Slayer, vengeance demon and witch. My target was the demon, Riley was supposed to take the Slayer and a third squad went after the witch. It was anticipated that if the hostile was still in Sunnydale he would attempt to protect the witch.” Forest spoke quickly almost stumbling over his words in his haste to be helpful. Spike growled when he realized that he had inadvertently placed his witch into danger.

“Where is she?” He snarled at the commando who actually backed away a step.

“In the main compound. Under the college. There’s a sewer entrance next to the main generator for the computer lab.” Xander grabbed Forest by the shoulder and started to march him down to the cellar where the other commandos were housed. Cordelia held up a hand to stop him.

“What will they do to Willow? I mean how much time do we have?” She shrugged as the others looked at her blankly. “It doesn’t make any sense to go running off after her without a plan if we have some time to regroup.”

“She’s right.” Xander’s military training seemed to finally be kicking in. He motioned for Forest to answer Cordelia’s question.

“Usually we start with testing a demon’s healing abilities and then their mental toughness. Hostile 17 lasted a week before he became so injured that we had to revive him with artificial means before we released him.” Angel’s arm stole around Spike’s shoulders as Forest recounted the various tortures Willow would undergo.

“So we have time. While Willow’s in pain.” Buffy summarized her face as still as granite. “One day. No more.”

Xander nodded his agreement and completed the task of placing Forest in the basement. Returning to the living room he found a debate raging as Buffy, Anya and Spike faced off against Giles, Cordelia and Angel. Buffy was all in favor of rushing the Initiative immediately and on the surface Xander had to agree. This was his best bud they were talking about. He didn’t want her in pain any longer than necessary. But his military training was screaming at him to wait and formulate a plan before entering a situation that could kill the very person they meant to rescue.

“I think we should…” He trailed off as Spike’s head suddenly snapped around to stare off to the west.

“Willow.” The word was more a moan than anything else. “She’s calling me.” The vampire began to stumble to the door only to have his sire restrain him.

“No, you’re still weak. Tomorrow Spike. Tonight we rest, we plan. Tomorrow we show these boys why we were known as the Scourge of Europe.” Angelus’ golden eyes dared anyone in the room to disagree but his stare was met only with resolve from every other pair of eyes surrounding him.

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“Good morning, Willow. I trust you slept well." Professor Walsh looked up from the TV screen she was watching as two commandos helped Willow into the lab room. She looked critically at the young witch. Although her garments were crusted with old blood the girl actually appeared to be in good shape. Frown lines marred the contours of her forehead as she recalled the speed with which the wounds had closed over once Willow had invoked her healing spells. The cameraman recording the process swore he hadn’t tampered with the tape speed but Walsh had remained unconvinced until she saw Willow in the morning.

Willow stood straight barely trembling after the two men released her and saluted Walsh before leaving the room. She heard the door click behind them and knew that it was locked. Although she was weak from performing the healing spells she tried to put on as much bravado as possible.

“Like a baby.” She was determined not to let her voice crack. Walsh smiled as if she knew the falsity of that statement.

“Would you like to know a bit more about our operation here? Your wounding yesterday was not just an attempt to retrieve information it was also part of the process that every demon brought here undergoes. We have to know how our enemies will react to certain injuries before we can determine how to best incapacitate them. Today we will work on the bone structure.” Walsh reached out a hand to caress a carpenter’s hammer lying next to the table. Willow paled visibly and her hands tremored but her eyes remained rock hard.

“Well then perhaps we can skip today’s session.” Willow held up her wrist. “I believe one of your boys broke this last night during my capture. As you can see it is now fully functional.” Willow rotated her wrist and flexed it for Walsh’s review. “So if you would just return me to my cell…” Willow trailed off as Walsh’s eyes glittered.

“How cooperative of you. Of course this means that we will have to move up the next session for you. Can you guess what that will be? No? I would imagine internal injuries will be much harder for you to heal, especially when you are unable to speak.” Willow began to scream as Walsh swung the hammer directly into her midsection.

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“We can’t go in the sewer. They’ll have that guarded and if not guarded then there will be security codes to override which we can’t do without Willow.” Xander slammed his fist down on the coffee table causing Buffy to jump and break off her outline of the attack she had planned. “A frontal assault isn’t going to do any good.”

“How else are we going to get in then? It’s the only entrance we know about.” Buffy’s eyes were wide and slightly glassy with the panic she was trying to keep under control.

They had been sitting in Giles’ living room since last night trying to formulate a plan for Willow’s rescue. About twenty minutes past dawn Spike had howled and darted for the door in full game face. Only Angel’s quick reflexes had saved him from greeting the sun. Apparently when Willow called to him using the bloodstone she had created a link between them. The result was that Spike had some knowledge of what was happening to Willow. Apparently Walsh was into early morning torture. Xander spared a glance for the two pacing vampires in the kitchen. Through Spike’s connection with his sire Angel was also feeling some echoes of Willow’s pain. Fortunately he was still under control although judging from the look in his eyes Xander wasn’t betting on him staying that way for much longer.

“Look there are sewer tunnels all over Sunnydale. I mean Angel used to use them regularly to get into the library. Maybe if we go down into them we can use Spike as a homing device and find a different entrance.” Cordelia spoke up from the doorway to the kitchen where she had been stationed keeping an eye on her boss and his childe.

“You may have something there Miss Chase. However I would caution allowing Spike to lead you into anything in his present state. He will not be able to control his demon and he will rush in regardless of the situation. You all might be killed.” Giles ran a hand through his hair and reached for yet another map to spread out on the dining room table. He had been going over the plans for the college for hours trying to pinpoint the underground facilities of the Initiative.

“We have to decide soon.” Anya stated from her position near the stairs, where she was checking weapons. “They know we have vampires on our side, they will be expecting us at night, if we move during the day we have at least that advantage. And we should go while they’re still hurting Willow, they wouldn’t be taking the time to torture her if they were getting ready for an assault from us.” Anya glanced up from the crossbow she was sighting in to see four shocked faces looking her way. “What? You pick stuff up after a thousand years or so.”

“She’s right.” Buffy nearly leaped off the couch again as Angel spoke from behind her. He was in human face but it was obvious that he was keeping it there purely through force of will. “We should go now.” He kept darting glances at the door as if he itched to run straight for Willow plowing through anything and anyone in his way.

“But you can’t…” Buffy started only to be cut off by a pure scream of agony from Spike. Cordelia leaped out of the way as Spike stumbled into the living room.

Angel reached for his childe as Spike clutched at his chest. Spike shrugged off his sire’s hand and steadied himself on the back of the couch. He drew his head up and stared at the others with golden eyes.

“She’s unconscious. And she can’t breathe.” He clamped down sharply on the growl that rumbled in his chest at his own statement. “As long as she’s out the link weakens, I can stay sane for a while. Let’s go with the cheerleader’s plan.” He headed for the door again with Angel right behind him. Anya tossed the crossbow to Buffy and Xander scooped up Forest’s abandoned M16. They too followed Spike to the door. Giles stopped them all by clearing his throat.

“Er…I believe I have found another entrance through the secondary boiler room under the main kitchens. And I have a van in the garage.” He moved to the desk and opened a drawer from which he drew a semi-automatic pistol. He crossed the room to the door set into the east side of his den stopping to fish his sword out from behind the couch. He grabbed a set of keys from the top of the bookshelf. “There is a tarp next to the steps. Gentlemen, ladies.” He opened the door and motioned them through.

\---------------------------

Willow turned her head to the side trying to press her cheek against the coolness of the table she was strapped to again. She knew she was drifting in and out of consciousness but couldn’t seem to focus long enough to perform a simple pain-blocking spell. The same one she used whenever she had to get a tetanus shot. Her wrist was throbbing again. It had been rebroken when she had attempted to stop one of the hammer blows to her chest. She was pretty sure that her hip was dislocated from when Walsh’s assistants had dragged her to the table. She remembered wondering why they were tying her legs so that they were spread open. When she heard one of them mention internal tearing she had begun to thrash in panic. She had felt her hip pop when one of men had pulled the straps tight. She could feel the blood running between her thighs and assumed that was why she was so disoriented. She was angled slightly downward so she was going into shock rapidly.

She struggled to draw another breath. Willow cringed as she remembered that she had told Walsh how she had deactivated the chip. She thanked her goddess that Walsh hadn’t believed her when she said that Spike had simply left Sunnydale and hadn’t told her where he was going. She even disregarded Willow’s frantic suggestion that they should capture Angel and ask him since he was Spike’s sire. Willow’s soul writhed in horror at how easily she had given Angel up into a new sort of hell just to stop her body’s torment. The only comfort she had was that she had played her game too well. No matter what she told Walsh now the professor would never believe her. She had lied too well in the beginning.

Willow tried to force the fog from her brain. She could swear she heard someone shouting her name. Someone with a Cockney accent. 

\------------------------

They had made it all the way to the boiler room itself before Spike lost it again. One second he had been sniffing the air and saying that he could catch a faint trace of Willow’s scent and the next he was clawing at the metal door designating the entrance to the storeroom. He had ripped off two of his fingernails before Angel managed to wrestle him to the floor and force him to drink from him. The older vampire’s blood allowed Spike to retain enough control to say that Willow was awake off and on and that they had to hurry.

Angel and Buffy worked together to break the door open. The padlock and chain hadn’t given either of them a moment’s pause but after the padlock fell to the floor and the door still wouldn’t budge it was determined that there was an electronic lock on the other side.

Giles had surprised them all by pulling out a pack of matches. Using one of the discarded greasy rags that always graced a boiler room he lit a cozy little fire under one of the heat sensors for the sprinkle system.

The heat from the fire was enough to trigger the alarm and activate the sprinklers overhead. Instantly the vampires’ ears picked up the click that accompanied the automatic overriding of the door locks. The door swung open easily.

A long sterile hallway stretched out before them lit only by the rapidly blinking red fire lights on the walls.

“Diversion is good.” Buffy quipped attempting to quell her nerves.

“They’ll probably be more concerned with saving their records and skins then with us.” She slid the crossbow from her back and placed a bolt into the mechanism. Xander hefted the rife and followed closely behind her as she entered the Initiative’s lair. Spike came next almost trodding on the boy’s heels as he growled directions at every junction. Anya and Giles stayed behind him ready to tackle him should he lose control again. Angel brought up the rear after convincing Cordelia to remain at the exit to provide cover for them and to call the paramedics.

They encountered few soldiers as they made their way through the upper hallways of the facility. Finally Spike stopped in the middle of a hallway and pointed to the floor.

“Willow.”

“She’s beneath us?” Buffy dropped to her knees and ran her fingers over the tile of the floor searching for cracks. “I haven’t seen any stairs.” She looked up from her search and glanced down each end of the hall. “No elevators either.”

“She’s down there.” Spike was shaking with the effort of controlling his demon this close to Willow. “And she’s in pain. A lot of pain.” He face flashed rapidly back and forth from human to demon before finally settling permanently into his demon façade.

“Shh.” Anya put a finger to her lips and scooted along the wall to the next corner. She waited there with her head cocked to one side listening intently. As a soldier came around the corner at a dead run Anya stuck her leg out in front of him tripping him neatly. She followed him down to the floor and pinned him by laying her staff under his chin and forcing his head back at a painful angle. She raised his head so he could see both Spike and Angelus starting towards them wearing their demon faces. “Where’s the witch?”

“In…in…the l..l…lab.” The soldier turned deathly pale at the sight of two loose demons heading for him.

“How do we get there?” Anya breathed into his ear.

“Elevator…back the way I came…need a keycard…h…here.” He shook his wrist and a bright red keycard slid out of his sleeve. Anya brought her staff out from underneath his chin and rapped him smartly across the back of his head before grabbing the card and heading for the elevator. The rest of the gang followed on her heels.

The tip of the crossbow and the rifle preceded their entrance into the lower levels of the facility. Xander poked his head out of the elevator and quickly looked in both directions.

“Clear.” He stepped out and faced east with Buffy following him facing west. The others filed out between them following Spike who headed for the west corridor.

“This way.” Spike sniffed the air and growled as he caught the heavy scent of blood. Angel also tensed as he recognized the blood scent as being Willow’s. Giles positioned himself at the elevator.

“I shall remain here. Go and retrieve her. Hurry back.” Xander looked as if he were about to protest the wisdom of that decision but hints of Ripper in Giles’ eyes as he reloaded the pistol made him shut his mouth.

Spike took point now sliding along the corridor walls to the next corner. Closing his eyes he extended his vampric senses and grinned ferally. Nodding to Angelus he tensed for his leap. The two vampires exploded around the corner and flew at the soldiers lining the corridor, Angelus to the north and Spike to the south. Buffy, Xander and Anya rounded the corner to find the two vampires reminding the world why they were known as the Scourge of Europe.

Where Spike had found a railroad spike was uncertain. What was certain was that he had honed it as sharp as the finest blade. His victims were eviscerated before they ever felt a thing.

Angel left a trail of limp bodies behind him as he broke neck after neck. Buffy was reminded of the marionettes she had seen crumpled on the floor of her mother’s art gallery several years ago. Xander was more forcibly reminded of Jenny Calendar’s death at Angelus’ hands. Anya cared for none of that. She was a vengeance demon and currently her soul sung as vengeance was wrought among those who deserved it.

She slid around the two blood-splattered vampires to the door the guards had been protecting.

“Electronic lock.” She tugged at the handle.

There was a sudden gagging sound from Buffy who had discovered the two way mirror set in the wall next to the door.

“Willow…Xander! No!” Buffy turned trying to grab Xander and keep him from witnessing the scene inside the lab. Xander squirmed out of her grasp and stared into the mirror.

“Open the damn door.” Xander’s eyes never left the room or the small girl strapped to the table in the middle of it. “Now.” He grated out from between clenched teeth.

Spike dragged Anya away from the door and plastered himself against the cool steel.

“Willow! Willow! Wake up!” He called in a hoarse voice reluctant to force her back to consciousness knowing that it meant pain for her but also knowing that she was the only one who could open the door for them.

Inside the room the small redhead stirred slightly.

\------------------------

“Spike?” Willow rasped. She forced her eyes to open even though she continued to see double of everything. She could feel him though. She knew that he was just outside the door. Outside the locked door. The electronically locked door.

“Willow? You need to open the door pet.” There was a world of pain in Spike’s voice as he made that request. Willow forced her eyes open farther and concentrated on getting them to focus. She knew she could hotwire the panel for the door if she could just touch it so she should be able to do the same thing without touching it.

“Willow? C’mon luv, you can do it.” Spike pleaded with her from the other side of the door. Willow wanted nothing more than to feel his arms around her as he carried her away from this place. Using that as her focus she managed to clear her head of the pain for a crucial moment. There was a small flare of fire in the panel box and then the fuse shorted out and the door swung open.

Spike was first into the room with Xander close behind. Anya and Buffy stayed to guard the door as Spike and Xander reached the table where Willow was laying and started freeing her from the straps. Angelus crossed the room to the computer intent on destroying any records it housed. He scanned the contents of the screen before knocking the machine to the ground with a furious snarl. He whirled around to face his childe who now cradled a semi-conscious Willow in his arms. Spike’s human face was back and his demon seemed to have been quieted by Willow’s proximity.

“Let’s go.” Xander nodded to the open door and moved to take point as Angel fell into position to guard his childe and Willow. Buffy and Anya took up rear guard positions as they made their way back to where Giles waited.

Giles slid the pistol into the back of his pants when he saw them round the corner. He took note of the fragile girl in Spike’s arms before waving them into the elevator.

“Just a moment.” He sprinted back down the hallway they had just come from and fished something out of his jacket pocket. He knelt by the vent in the floor for a moment before straightening and running back to the elevator.

“Come, we have to get her to a hospital immediately.” He punched the buttons necessary to close the elevator doors and return them to the main floor. They were halfway up the shaft when there was a muffled thump and the elevator shook slightly.

“Giles?” Angel looked at him suspiciously and the Watcher nodded.

“They won’t be bothering anyone again.” The gleam that they all associated with Ripper was blazing from Giles’ eyes.

“Thanks mate.” Spike nodded at the librarian not trying to hide the relief in his expression.

“Come on. Before the whole place blows.” Xander pushed open the doors as soon as they stopped and headed at a trot towards the boiler room entrance. The others raced along behind him as a second explosion ripped through the underground levels. A ball of flame burst from the elevator shaft and chased them down the hallway.

They skidded around the corner where Anya had ambushed the soldier and Buffy slammed the fire proof doors shut on the flames chasing them.

“Won’t hold for long. Hurry.” She gasped waving at the others to keep going.

“Cordelia! Get ready to shut the door!” Anya hollered as they pelted towards the entrance. Cordelia’s pale, scared face appeared for an instant in the opening at the end of the hallway before disappearing again as she jerked back suddenly. Angelus heard her scream. He put on a burst of speed that left the others in his wake. They could hear his roar as he threw himself through the opening at something on the other side.

When they burst through the doorway they found a soot smeared Professor Walsh holding a gun to Cordelia’s temple. Angelus crouched against the wall waiting for his moment to strike.

“Hold it! Over there. Now.” Walsh jammed the barrel of the gun into Cordelia’s scalp as Buffy stepped towards her. Buffy fell back against the wall next to Angelus with Xander, Anya and Giles doing the same. Spike slid to one side of the door way and laid Willow on the ground at his feet before he too rested his back against the wall.

“Hostile 17.” Walsh’s eyes narrowed as she recognized Spike. “So the little witch was telling the truth? Too bad I didn’t believe her. Perhaps she wouldn’t be unconscious right now.” Spike growled under his breath and his hands clenched into fists as he stared at the woman responsible for Willow’s injuries.

Cordelia flickered her eyes towards Walsh and then towards Angel. Angel tilted his head in acknowledgment. In the next instant Cordelia slumped to the ground in an apparent faint as Angel leaped for the gun. The gun echoed in the confined space and Angel was thrown back against the wall. Cordelia rolled as she hit the ground tangling in Walsh’s legs and toppling her to the ground. Xander and Buffy flung themselves at Walsh while Giles and Anya grabbed Cordelia’s arms and helped to drag her away from the professor.

Spike leaned over his sire and helped to drag him to his feet. Angel covered his ribs with his hand as dark red blood seeped from the bullet wound he had taken.

“Blood hell poof. You’re not bulletproof you know.” Spike muttered as he tore a strip from his tee-shirt to press against the hole in Angel’s side. Angel hissed.

“Holy water.” He managed to ground out. Spike slid a finger into the wound looking for the bullet. He reached around his sire and felt Angel’s back.

“Passed through.”

“Look out!” Buffy yelled from where she had landed against the back wall with Xander next to her. Walsh was struggling to her feet and had the gun pointed right at Spike’s unprotected back.

“Hostile 17.”

\-----------------------

Every bounce had sent shock waves of pain through Willow’s body and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She thought someone said that Giles had set off a bomb and then there was this loud thump. Then Spike was running. Cordelia screamed and Angelus was growling. Then there was something hard and cold underneath her back. And then there was a lot of shouting and noises that sounded like a fight.

Willow forced her eyes open. She was lying on the cement floor of the boiler room. Walsh, Buffy and Xander were rolling around on the floor fighting over a gun. Spike was trying to stem the flow of blood from Angel’s side.

“Holy water.” She heard Angel gasp out. She realized that Walsh must have shot Angel with bullets that had been dipped in holy water.

“Look out!” Willow twisted her head to see Buffy and Xander land against the far wall as Walsh got to her feet. She still had the gun and she was pointing it at Spike. Willow’s brain froze. If there was holy water on those bullets and Walsh managed to shot Spike through the back into the heart he was dust.

“Hostile 17.” Spike’s back tensed as Walsh spoke. Willow knew that he knew. She saw him turn his head towards her. Saw his eyes lock with hers. Saw him whisper “I love you Red.”

“This experiment is terminated.” Walsh pulled the trigger and the bullet sped directly for Spike’s undead heart.

Willow forced her limbs to react and lunged for Spike throwing herself across his back and dragging him to the floor with her. She felt the bullet impact her back as they hit the floor.

“Bitch!” Anya tackled Walsh seconds after the gun fired. She knocked her to the ground and grabbed her wrist twisting until the older woman let go of the gun.

Spike’s mind refused to register the sound of the gun firing for the third time as the vengeance demon pulled the trigger. His mind refused to register anything but the redhead cradled in his arms, her blood flowing over his hands as he held her.

“Red.” His voice broke as he cradled her body to his feeling the slowing beat of her heart.

“I love you Spike.” Willow managed to whisper before blackness claimed her.


	4. Chapter 4

“Rupert Giles?” Dr. Kent glanced around the room at the seven people scattered around the ICU waiting room. An older man wearing glasses looked up upon hearing his name.

“Yes?” Giles stood replacing his glasses as the doctor strode across the room to shake his hand.

“I understand that you are listed as Miss Rosenberg’s next of kin?” The doctor’s eyebrow rose slightly as he looked questioningly at Giles.

“Her parents travel quite often so she had me designated in case there was ever an immediate medical need.” Giles cleared his throat as he realized that fear had come to pass. His gaze took in the doctor’s bloodstained gown and realized that he had just come from surgery on Willow. His expression was not hopeful.

Cordelia had managed to call for an ambulance shortly before Walsh had exited the compound through a secret exit, which happened to open behind the boilers. Walsh had taken her by surprise and waited for the others with every intention of killing as many of them as possible.

After Willow had taken the bullet meant for Spike, Anya had wrested the gun away from Walsh and performed her duty as vengeance demon thereby opening herself up for a resurgence of her former powers. To the average human she currently appeared physically exhausted but to those with occult senses she would appear to be glowing with residual energy as she sought to reconnect with the changes taking place within her. Yet she had insisted on remaining with the rest of the gang as Willow was transported to the hospital.

Spike hadn’t allowed anyone to come near him and the dying redhead. Xander finally got through to him when he simply ignored the growling and crumpled to the ground next to his best friend, holding her hand and sobbing soundlessly. The utter torment expressed on Xander’s face was enough to break through Spike’s grief. That and the arrival of the paramedics. Angel had to restrain Spike when they pushed him away from Willow. Giles had ridden in the ambulance with her as he had the powers of next of kin. Unspoken was the fear that if Willow was to die enroute Spike would be unable to control himself and he would turn her or kill those in the ambulance with her. Either way it was not a situation that Willow would have wanted.

Upon arrival at the hospital Willow was rushed into emergency surgery and Giles was directed to the ICU waiting room where the rest of the gang joined him. Now they had all risen to their feet at Dr. Kent’s arrival.

“Perhaps we should speak alone? Unless any of the others are immediate family?” Something in the doctor’s expression said that he was aware that they were simply friends but he was willing to bend the rules if they would just give him an excuse.

“I’m her sister.” Buffy walked forward to stand next to Giles.

“Cousins.” Cordelia stated pointing to herself and Anya.

“Brothers.” Xander nodded to Angel as he joined Buffy next to Giles.

“And that would make you…?” Dr. Kent turned to stare at the young blond man being held in his chair by the older brunette. He would almost swear that the man was growling.

“He’s her..er..finace.” Giles stuttered ignoring the shocked looks the others were giving him. He knew full well what the gift of the bloodstone had meant for Spike.

“Okay then. The good news is that she survived the surgery needed to stop the internal bleeding and to repair the damage done by the bullet. Her wrist is broken and her hip was dislocated but we managed to shift it back into place. The reason for the surgery was that she sustained a pneumothorax resulting in a collapsed lung and several ribs were broken causing severe internal bleeding. We got the bleeding stopped, put in a chest tube to relieve the pressure and help the lung inflate and bound her ribs. All of those injuries should heal themselves quickly and she is in no immediate danger from them.” The doctor broke off and ran a hand through his hair.

“There’s more isn’t there?” Xander asked quietly, fresh tears were pricking at the backs of his eyes as he listened to what Willow had been forced to endure.

“As you all know she was shot in the back with a nine millimeter bullet. We were unable to remove the bullet as it has come to rest against her spinal cord. There is quite a bit of swelling and I was afraid to attempt removal with the possibility of severing the spinal cord. However the bullet may have already done that. We won’t know until the swelling goes down and she wakes up. You must all prepare yourselves as there is a very real possibility that she will be paralyzed.” This time Dr. Kent was positive that he heard the blond man growl. He stepped back a pace or two.

Buffy and Xander had reached out blindly for each other and had entwined their fingers so tightly they had gone white with blood loss. Cordelia swayed and would have fallen if Anya hadn’t caught her and lowered her gently to a chair. Angel’s muscles contracted with the battle both to hold Spike in his chair and to keep his demon from surfacing.

“Yes. Well thank you doctor. I assume you will inform us when she awakens and we may see her?” Giles’ voice shook only slightly as he thanked the man.

“Of course. And may I have a word with you privately?” Dr. Kent waited for the man to nod and then motioned to an adjoining room. Once inside he carefully closed the door to the waiting room and then, taking a deep breath, turned to face the “father” of his patient.

“Her injuries are horrible but they will mend. It is her emotional stability that I am more concerned with. Rehabilitation such as she is going to require demands a great determination and inner strength.” The doctor paused as Giles suddenly collapsed into a chair.

“She was raped.” Giles stated in a dead voice.

“Yes. When she wakes up she will have to deal with that on top of her other injuries. I have scheduled a psychologist to come and speak with her as soon as possible.”

“Thank you.” Giles managed to stand and shook hands with the doctor once more before heading for the waiting room again. He stopped with his hand resting on the doorknob. “Please, if any of the others asks you about her condition...tell them...tell them the truth." He waited to hear the doctor’s agreement and then returned to the rest of his “family” to help share their grief.

\-----------------------

There was something wrong with her eyes. Everything was all fuzzy and dark like she was trying to peer into shadows. Gradually as sounds penetrated the haze she was in she realized that she was in the hospital. With that realization came the explanation for her eyesight. She must have had anesthesia, whenever she had it she always woke up with her vision all blurry. She frowned trying to remember why she was in the hospital.

Walsh. The Initiative. Spike. Her memories of the past few days came flooding back with excruciating detail. She gasped aloud in pain as she attempted to shake her head and negate the images in her mind.

“Willow?” A cool hand pressed itself against her brow. Icy fingers wiped away the tears that leaked from her eyes as she attempted to get them to focus. “Hush. Don’t fight. It’s just me.”

“Angel?” She whimpered as she recognized the slight Irish accent. “The others?” She cried out as she tried to sit up to see if there was anyone else there.

“No Willow, don’t try to move. Everyone’s okay. Anya is trying to adjust to the fact that she is a vengeance demon again but other than that everyone is fine.” Angel placed his hands on her shoulders and easily pressed her back into the bed. He marveled at how someone with such fragile bones could have such determination.

“You were shot!” Her eyes flew open in panic and her hand reached out to feel along his side.

“I healed.” Angel grabbed her hand and sat on the edge of the bed holding it. “Willow there’s a reason I’m here. We decided that I was the best one to be here when you woke up.” He grimaced as he remembered the screaming match he and the others had gotten into when he had suggested that he be the first person to talk to Willow. Surprisingly it had been Spike who had finally gotten them to agree. When they had learned of the rape Spike had been livid. If Walsh hadn’t already been dead Spike would have painted the town red with her blood. Angel had expected Spike to be the one most firmly against his idea. But Spike had simply looked at him and then nodded once as if to himself. When the others started to argue Spike had silenced them with one statement.

“Bloody hell! He’s the only one of us who’s going to understand what it was like for her…to have her body violated…to have control taken away…so that not even her own mind was hers anymore.” The look Spike had given him was full of understanding for how it was when Angelus had taken control. That his childe trusted him with his chosen mate meant more to Angel than anything else. After all Spike too had been raped violently in his own past, he could have shared Willow’s pain. Angel marveled at the wisdom that his childe had shown knowing that his rage was too great for him to be with Willow.

“It’s about what happened.” Willow’s flat statement drew Angel back to the present. Her slightly bloodshot green eyes stared through him as if she was seeing something far away. “On the first day they used knives. They wanted to see what I could repair with my magic. I healed myself that night after I used the bloodstone to call Spike. She told me they wanted information so I gave it to her. Lots of it. All lies. When I started to tell the truth after a while she didn’t believe me.” Angel once again was forced to reassess the slender girl lying next to him. Not many people would have had the courage to do what she had done.

“And the second day?” He whispered wishing he didn’t have to ask.

“She was going to break bones but I had already healed my wrist the night before, it was broken when they took me. So she moved on. To internal injuries. There was a hammer. And then there were two soldiers. Can you forgive me?” She was looking at him with tears in her eyes.

“Forgive you? For what? You didn’t do anything, don’t you dare think that you did something to deserve that.” Angelus’ voice rose and his game face started to slip forward at the thought that she somehow blamed herself and thought that they would too.

“No. I didn’t bring that on myself but when I knew what they were going to do I broke. I told them everything about Spike. I even told them about you, where to find you, how to hunt you. I would have told them anything to make them stop. I could have gotten you killed.” She dropped her eyes away from his face and clamped her lips together to keep from sobbing. Angel reached out and gently wiped the tears from her face.

“But you had already made sure that wouldn’t happen. You had made sure that she never would have believed you. You didn’t betray me at all.” He continued to stroke her face until she met his gaze again. “What about the…men…who hurt you?”

“They raped me. It hurt, oh goddess it felt like fire inside me, and afterwards I could feel the blood running down my legs and everything ached and…” She stopped suddenly. If Angel had owned a heartbeat it would have stopped then as she looked inside herself and then asked the question he had been dreading.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore. It should hurt. Why doesn’t it hurt?” She looked frantically at Angel and once again tried to sit up, this time Angel let her struggle until the knowledge of what was wrong flooded into her eyes. Angel scooted closer to her and took her slight frame into his arms as she began to shake and the tears began to fall again. “The bullet?”

“Is still there inside you. There’s a lot of swelling. It could be temporary. They don’t know yet.” Angel continued to stroke her hair. He heard a soft sound near the open door and caught his childe’s blue eyed gaze from across the room. He motioned for Spike to join them.

“Pet.” Spike settled onto the other side of the bed. Willow stiffened as she heard his voice and then willingly turned from Angel into Spike’s embrace. “Shh, it’s going to be alright.”

Angel rose from the bed and started to exit the room when he heard his childe whisper to him.

“Don’t go. She’s going to need you…I…I’m going to need you.” Angel turned back to the bed and took his place on the other side of Willow reaching across her to grasp the hand that Spike extended to him as Willow clutched his neck and let her tears fall onto his chest.

**\---------------------------**

“Good morning Willow. I have something for you today, that is, if you think you are up to it?” Dr. Kent said brightly as he strode into Willow’s private room. As he did everyday he headed for the thickly curtained windows and pulled the drapes wide open allowing the sun to fall directly on the redhead’s face. Willow didn’t flinch as the bright light struck her eyes. Dr. Kent carefully schooled his features to mask the deep concern he felt for the small young woman.

In the first few days after Willow awoke from surgery the nurses had reported that she had been her normal cheery self. She was extremely concerned about the rest of her friends and would submit to the necessary tests only after she had been assured of their well being. Dr. Kent had expected that. Most patients who had severe mental and emotional trauma spent the first week or so in deep denial. They literally didn’t even accept the trauma as their own. Eventually the memories and emotions would become too much to deal with and the patient would break down and be forced to deal with the trauma that had occurred. As was usual with rape victims Willow had initially blamed herself although that phase hadn’t lasted very long with her. Dr. Kent credited the two older men who professed to be her brother and her fiancé with that miracle. Although the psychologist assigned to Willow had been surprised at her willingness to spend time with two large and intimidating men. Dr. Kent had a feeling it had a lot to do with the strong relationship vibes he sensed between the two men. Willow wouldn’t sense them as a threat to her.

What concerned the psychologist, the two men and Dr. Kent the most was what happened after the blaming had stopped. Willow had gone blank. That was the only way that Dr. Kent could think to explain it. If asked to raise an arm or fingers or try to wiggle her toes she would comply without comment but if asked a question about her feelings or even the weather and she would simply stare past the speaker with no light in her eyes. She reminded the doctor of a robot he had seen in a movie once, commands it could obey but when asked to think for itself it simply couldn’t comply.

Dr. Kent had finally asked the staff psychologist to discontinue treatment of Willow as he saw that Willow not only wasn’t going to respond to him but also that she flinched every time he entered the room. William, the blond man, had explained that the men who had assaulted her where military. The psychologist had spent seven years in the marines. Apparently some of the manner still existed. After assuring the therapist that he held a valid social work certificate he had thanked the man for his time and escorted him out. That had earned him one brief very fleeting smile from his patient. It was the last recorded emotion that she had shown.

Shaking himself from his thoughts he crossed the now sunlit room to the bed and dragged the covers from the girl’s form. She blinked. He picked up the brush that lay on her nightstand, the one that she hadn’t used in over a week since Angel had stopped brushing her hair for her demanding that she do it for herself. He held the brush where she could see it.

“I know you hate being in that bed all day. If you want to get up today you need to look presentable. Brush your hair and I’ll let you get up for a few hours.” Willow’s eyes flickered to the brush and then back to his face. Silently she opened the hand she had automatically curled into a fist at his arrival. He placed the brush into it and turned to retrieve her surprise from the hallway.

He looked at the wheelchair with some distaste. He always hated it when he presented them to his patients; they always saw it as a defeat, as the end of the road. None of them ever saw it as the chance at freedom that it was. He determinedly plastered a smile on his face and pushed the wheelchair into the room.

Willow had rolled onto her back and raised the bed until she was sitting in a slightly reclined position. She had brushed her hair until it shone. He eyes dropped to the wheelchair he was pushing and filled with tears.

“None of that. You are a smart girl Willow, think past the emotions, think what this really means.” He let his brief flare of anger with her show. They had all been so busy being gentle with her that they had forgotten the first rule of dealing with someone in shock – shock them into feeling again. It worked with defibrillation he reasoned that it should work with Willow’s emotional deadness. It was a gamble. This time he won.

Willow’s eyes dried up and she looked at him with a tiny smile on her face, it was forced and far from genuine but it was there. She didn’t even stiffen when he lifted her from the bed into the wheelchair.

“I guess you know how to use one of these from the last time you were here so all I am going to say is: no wheelies in the hallway.” Her eyes sparked briefly at his joke but then they clouded over again. She turned from him and wheeled herself over to the window where she stared out into the sun. Dr. Kent perched on her bed and watched her until he had to go do rounds. She never moved and he wasn’t sure she even blinked.

\----------------------

“What’s wrong with her?” Buffy paced the small waiting room where the gang met every Monday night to discuss Willow’s condition with Dr. Kent. “Her injuries are healing and she’s doing fine moving the wheelchair around. I thought when she could get out of bed she would stop moping.” Buffy jumped slightly as both Angel and Spike growled.

“Buffy why must you speak before you think?” Giles pulled off his glasses and started to clean them. “Willow is not ‘moping’ as you so elegantly put it. She is suffering from severe emotional shock. She simply cannot resolve the emotions brought about by her…attack.”

“I know, I know. So why didn’t that therapist talk her out of it? I mean she knows it isn’t her fault.” Buffy threw herself into a chair.

“Listen chit, it was only thanks to poofalus that she even stopped blaming herself.” Spike half rose out of his chair before Angel clamped down on his shoulder forcing him to remain seated.

“I know. I’m sorry guys, I just hate this. My friend’s hurting and I can’t do anything to stop it or fix it. Hell I can’t even beat the crap out of whatever is hurting her!” Buffy ran her hands through her hair actually pulling out several strands in the process.

Xander opened his mouth as if to say something but then fell silent frowning slightly. Cordelia noticed his look and moved to take a seat next to him lightly resting a hand on his arm. Since Anya had regained her powers she had found it necessary to leave Sunnydale before the energy distortions of the Hellmouth interfered with her demonic abilities. She and Xander had parted without much grief but most of his friends noticed that he had become much more thoughtful thanks to his time with the demon. Perhaps it had something to do with listening to her tales of her vengeance on unfaithful men. Whatever it was the wise cracking Xander of the past was gone.

“What?” Cordelia’s soft voice broke into his thoughts causing Xander to jump and smile at her sheepishly.

“Just thinking about something. Remember how when she was in a coma two years ago we all spent time talking to her? And then she woke up? I was just thinking that maybe that’s what we need to do this time too. Just keep talking to her until she wakes up.” Xander dropped his eyes and stared at his hands as he trailed off.

“That’s exactly what we have been attempting to do this week and although we have had some slight success it does not appear to be enough.” Dr. Kent laid a hand briefly on Xander’s shoulder as he entered the room. The young man had been a faithful visitor, every day bringing Willow things from their past, from her favorite chocolates to a replacement Barbie. They had all made time to see Willow although Buffy and Giles had found their time limited as the purple-eyed demon from a month ago had made a reappearance. Angel and Spike where there the most only leaving when chased out by the dawn.

“First I have asked someone to join us tonight.” Dr. Kent held the door open for Willow to wheel herself into the room. She made no notice of her friends and stationed herself so she could watch out the window facing the hallway as the spoke. “As of this morning Willow can be moved from the ICU to a private room on the rehabilitation ward. Her lung is continuing to hold stable, her hip dislocation has healed properly and the internal bleeding hasn’t reoccurred. Her wrist will simply heal in time. If she is able to manage the wheelchair she is scheduled for release at the end of the week.” He held up a hand to forestall the excited cheers he could see coming from Buffy and Cordelia. “She will continue to need direct care however. I can arrange for a 24-hour private nurse…” Angel and Spike’s angry growls cut him off. He simply cocked an eyebrow at them having figured out their peculiarities the week before.

“She’s staying with us.” Angel nodded at Spike and himself. “The mansion is wheelchair accessible and there are facilities for caring for her there.” Spike’s features twisted as he recalled exactly why there were handicap facilities in the mansion. Buffy frowned slightly, she hadn’t known that Angel still owned the mansion; he saw her expression and shrugged. “Contingency plan.” He didn’t offer a further explanation and Buffy supposed she didn’t really need one. If things had gone differently perhaps Angel would have come back to town in time and rekindled their romance, it was nice to know that he had at least left the door open for that possibility.

“Very well then. You will have to make arrangements for transporting her to psychical therapy or perhaps I can recommend someone to provide them there. As I was saying. The only major physical injury that remains is the paralysis. I am still unconvinced that it is permanent.” Giles noticed that he spoke directly to Willow as he made that statement although she gave no sign that she had heard. “However we have no choice but to simply wait until the swelling dissipates and the healing that will occur takes place. The thing that remains a concern is her emotional stability.” As Dr. Kent began to detail Willow’s condition she suddenly swiveled the chair to face him. She glared at him for a moment and then wheeled herself out the still open door.

“Willow…” Xander had reached for her as she passed him but the doctor caught his hand and restrained him from going after her.

“No. That’s the biggest response I’ve gotten from her all week. As I was saying the nurses and I agreed that we had allowed Willow enough time to sort through the emotions tied up with her trauma and that now it was time to begin to force her to move beyond them. We started treating her as normally as possible this morning by insisting that she brush her hair if she wanted to get out of bed. It is our hope that by insisting on normal actions we may shock her back into feeling normal emotions rather than the guilt/fear/desperation/helplessness cycle that she is in now.”

“You would like us to assist you in this treatment?” Giles asked placing his glasses back on his nose and mentally drawing up a list of the things that Willow would need if she was to be moving to the mansion.

“I think it would be best if we were all consistent.” Dr. Kent nodded. As the others in the room agreed he wished them a pleasant evening and took his leave of them. Cordelia waited until the door shut behind him before she exploded.

“How dare he? He can’t possibly know what sort of things she is dealing with. I mean we are all used to having awful things happen to us but they are usually caused by demons and evil nasties, to have a human hurt us is even more of a betrayal!” Cordelia was pacing now, waving her arms around and letting her eyes flash with anger.

“Wait Delia. He may have a point. I remember there was this woman in the village where I lived when I was still mortal. The English soldiers that raided us one summer had killed her husband. She acted a lot like Willow does. Our healer said that she had gone away inside herself and that she needed someone to call to her to bring her back to herself. But there was no one in the village who really knew her enough to call to her. So we let her just…exist in our midst until she died. I really think she willed herself to death.” Angel was looking thoughtful, as much like the broody vampire he had been until recently.

“And this is going to help Willow how?” Cordelia sneered.

“I think the problem was that there wasn’t anyone in my village that she cared enough about to come back for, but that isn’t true for Willow. She has plenty of people here that she cares about, we just have to call to her and ask her to come back to us. Remind her of everything that we need her to do with us, that type of thing.”

“You’re saying that I should barge into the house and drag her to the mall and force her to go with me to Victoria Secrets to help me bra-shop?” Cordelia choked out around her disbelief.

“And Giles should bring his books over and research with her. Xander should play country music and moan about his love life, Buffy should ask her to help repair the crossbow bolts or sharpen stakes. We need to remind her why she has to come back…why we NEED her to come back.”

“What about you and Deadboy Jr.? What do you guys need her for?” Buffy muttered once again without thinking as she mulled over the fact that she actually had no idea how to repair the fletching on her arrows as Willow had always taken over that particular chore.

“Hmmm. I suppose pretending that I lost my soul and asking her to perform the restoration is out of the question…” Angel trailed off as the others stared at him. “What?”

“A joke? You made a joke? After 80 years of brooding you chose NOW to make a JOKE?!” Cordelia was off on a rampage again while Giles quickly covered his mouth with his hand and had a coughing fit.

“Actually Angel has the correct idea. We will not help Willow by becoming depressed ourselves. Keeping our own spirits up is just as important as working on hers.” Giles fell into lecturing mode in order to keep the laughter at bay.

“Seriously I will brood while in her company. She always seems to find it her personal duty to remind me that I am not the same person as Angelus and interrupt my brooding.” Angel reflected with a wry smile as he realized just how good the redhead was at that particular task.

“And you?” Buffy turned to Spike. She swallowed a grin at the look on Spike’s face. She knew exactly what Spike’s job was going to be and she was enjoying the look of terror he had stamped on his face.

“I’m going to have to tell her how much I need her in my life…because I love her.”

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Behind the mask of indifference that Willow was showing to the world her mind and emotions where spinning in turmoil. Her logical, analytical mind kept telling her that what she was doing wasn’t healthy and that she should be focusing on the positive aspects of her situation. It had already coldly analyzed her treatment at the hands of the Initiative and accepted that the events had happened and then had regulated them to the proper memory vaults. Her mind wanted her to move on and to get back to her life. Her emotions were a different matter.

From the moment that she had realized that she might be paralyzed she had been struck with an overwhelming fear. She had broken down crying at first and was held by Angel and Spike as the anger and grief over her injuries ran its course. And although she had initially been devastated when Dr. Kent brought her a wheelchair she was still able to remind herself that there was no guarantee that the paralysis was permanent. She knew that months of rehabilitation could make the difference. It was the conversation she had overheard between two nurses that had caused her near catatonic state.

“She’s such a lovely little thing to have that happen to her.”

“I know, it’s disgusting that there are people out there who can do such things.”

“Is Dr. Kent going to tell her? About the scarring?”

“I think he’s waiting until the results of the paralysis are fully known.”

“She would have made a good mother…”

Willow’s mind had processed their words and then recalled exactly what was done to her during the rape. She remembered a great deal of pain and the feeling of something tearing inside her. She was also relatively sure that the men had not been the only things to penetrate her. The end result it seemed was that she wasn’t going to be having children. At first that thought didn’t really bother her, after all what was the chance that she would ever have a man interested in her again? Cripples don’t make the best bed-partners. Sure Spike had said that he loved her but he believed that he was going to die and that can do strange things to a person. Besides he had spent nearly a century caring for Drusilla and she doubted that he wanted to bind himself to another helpless creature. That was why when Angel told Dr. Kent that she was going home with them she had fled. She didn’t want to see the disgust in Spike’s eyes when he realized that he stuck with taking care of her.

She could deal with Angel wanting to care for her. He would see it as another part of his redemption. That was fine, she knew that he would happily shoulder the burden of caring for her and a part of her felt a little joy at the notion that she would be helping him earn forgiveness if even indirectly. But Spike wasn’t interested in earning forgiveness. He was interested in mayhem and plots to take over Sunnydale for his own purposes. She knew he wouldn’t be thankful to be dragging her around after him for the next few decades. In addition she couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him with her presence. She knew that seeing her in a wheelchair would bring back memories of his stint as a handicap citizen. She was one of the two people who knew how frightened and angry he had been during that time; emotions that would resurface with having to see her in the same situation day after day.

There was no question that she couldn’t allow Spike back into her life. Eventually her friends would stop coming to see her as well if she just kept ignoring them. She knew that Buffy would find it too hard to keep up regular visits and Cordelia would probably head back to LA soon. Xander might be a bit more persistent but if she was living with Angel he wouldn’t come around too much. And Giles would have to be there for his Slayer so he wouldn’t have much time to spend with his research partner. Angel was the only one she really had to worry about.

Willow knew that all rape victims went through a stage of blaming themselves for their attack. Hers was relatively brief thanks to Angel.

\-------------------------

“It’s all my fault. I know better than to walk through the park alone. I should have gone with Buffy, then none of this would have happened.” Willow choked out around her sobs burying her face in her pillow. An ice cold hand grabbed her shoulder and gently flipped her onto her back. Angel’s chocolate brown eyes, dark with fury, glared into her tear-filled emerald ones.

“Don’t you dare. You walked through the park because you knew that Spike’s mark kept you safe from everything supernatural, you weren’t counting on humans.” He growled slightly as his demon tried to push forward, angry that Willow would even think of blaming herself.

“But I didn’t even fight them off that much. I would have done better against a demon!”

“Well then I guess all your arguments about how Angelus’ return wasn’t my fault don’t apply to you? Remember I didn’t fight him off either.” Angel played his trump card.

“He was stronger than you and…” Willow stopped as she realized what he was doing. “Okay so they were stronger than me and there were a lot of them and they even managed to beat up Spike. So I guess I really can’t blame myself for this one.” She grumbled and turned her face into her pillow again. Angel just grinned.

\------------------------

As much as Willow would have loved to wallow in self-blame her conversation with Angel had made that impossible. She knew he was right and she certainly couldn’t blame herself for the way she was dressed or anything else. No she knew exactly where to place the blame. Squarely on Buffy’s shoulders. That episode had lasted all of ten minutes before she remembered that Buffy hadn’t asked to be the Slayer and hadn’t even asked for her to get involved in the whole slaying thing. The blame then shifted to Spike. Which also wasn’t fair and didn’t last long given her feelings for him. She finally discarded the whole blame thing in favor of a deep grief for her lost children.

As the nurses’ conversation kept running through her head she realized how right they were. She would have been a great mother. Look at how she had cared for Xander for almost twenty years and she mothered Buffy whenever she came home banged up from patrol. She even mothered Spike when he was depressed about not being able to bite. She had never really thought about kids since she was convinced that her first love, Xander, would never notice her enough to give her a reason to have kids. She had worried about it a little with Oz since he wasn’t fully human and no children of his would be either. But it wasn’t until the choice had been taken out of her hands that she realized how much she would miss that part of her life. That deep grief and anger was what had started her current emotional turmoil.

There was also her fear of men to deal with. She couldn’t help it; she just flinched whenever a man came near her. Dr. Kent was all right but she was pretty sure that was because he was gay. Angel and Spike were okay as well for the same reason and because she had long ago dealt with the threat they presented as vampires and overcome it. Giles was too much like a father to make her feel uneasy and Xander too much like a brother but the first time a male nurse had come in to give her a bath she had screamed so hysterically they had to sedate her. Since then no men were assigned to her. In some ways she was glad that she was paralyzed and that she couldn’t feel anything below her waist, it meant that there wasn’t any chance that she would have to deal with a sexual encounter. She had the protection of being a cripple, which she doubted inspired lust in anyone. And even if someone was to be sick enough to try and rape a cripple at least she wouldn’t be able to feel it happening.

It was into this maelstrom of emotions that cold reality barged in. As soon as they had moved her to her new room Giles showed up with books in hand and her portable laptop. That purple-eyed demon was giving them new trouble.

\-----------------------

Giles placed the laptop on the table next to Willow. He also dropped five dusty books there as well.

“Now where does this thing connect…?” He fumbled with the cord for the modem and looked startled when Willow stretched out her hand for it. He handed it over and watched as she plugged it into the appropriate terminal and then handed him the other end pointing at the telephone jack next to the bed.

Willow experienced a brief flash of pure rage when Giles showed up with research materials in hand. However, it was quickly smothered under her concern for Buffy. She knew that Giles wouldn’t have asked her for help unless he was truly desperate. And she had missed her computer. At least through the Internet she could still go anyplace she wanted. She pressed the button to activate the computer as Giles finished connecting it to the outgoing telephone line.

Two hours later Giles closed the third book and removed his glasses to rub his forehead. He could feel a migraine starting. Willow’s soft voice, rusty after a week of disuse startled him into dropping his glasses and knocking several books to the floor.

“When the demon was around before I found a couple of references to an Equinox celebration that had to take place over the Hellmouth but I dismissed them because there isn’t an Equinox in the middle of winter. I forgot that Christmas used to be considered an Equinox by several pagan religions. So I think…” She swiveled the computer so Giles could read the information displayed on the screen.

“Oh my.” Giles frowned as he read through the display. “If this site is accurate it indicates that they were attempting to perform a renewal ritual, which we interrupted, which means…”

“We’ve got very pissed off demons!” Buffy finished coming into the room once again covered in goo. “Willow do you mind if I use your shower?” Buffy asked trying not to drip on the floor. When Willow nodded the blond headed for the bathroom, a moment later there came the sounds of running water.

“I don’t see any mention of how to stop them…” Giles continued to skim the site.

“I don’t know if we should. The demons don’t appear to be of the ‘suck-the-world-into-hell’ variety. The ritual is just designed to fill their clan with strength for the next year. I think they are only attacking Buffy because she disrupted the ritual.” Willow slumped suddenly in her chair causing Giles to look at her in concern.

“Are you all right Willow? Perhaps I should call someone to help you back to bed?”

“It just never stops does it Giles?” Willow whispered in a very small voice. Giles rose from the table and knelt by Willow’s chair.

“No Willow it does not. But neither do we.” Willow sighed at his words knowing what he was trying to tell her but not ready to accept it.

“Bed? Please?” She held out her arms to him much like a little girl asking her father to carry her to bed. Giles forced down the lump that rose into his throat and leaned over to gather her into his arms. As he picked her up he saw Buffy exit the bathroom, he signaled her with his eyes and she nodded leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Giles gently placed Willow on her bed and drew the covers up around her. He turned to go but was stopped by a soft hand on his wrist.

“Stay? Until they come?” Giles nodded knowing she meant the two vampires who spent the nights watching her sleep. He settled himself back at the table and went back to reading about the ritual. Willow’s soft breathing made him believe that she was asleep until he heard her whisper, as if to herself.

“Research girl rides again.” Giles smiled at the soft note of pride that had worked its way back into her voice, perhaps Dr. Kent and Angel had the right idea after all.

\-------------------------

“Welcome home, pet.” Spike shifted Willow slightly as he crossed the threshold to the mansion with her in his arms. “Would you like to see the bridal chamber?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and attempted to leer. She giggled and slapped him lightly.

“Just put her on the couch and come help me with the rest of this stuff.” Angel muttered nudging Spike farther into the front room. He was carrying Willow’s wheelchair and a therapy ball. Spike grinned at his sire and obediently placed Willow carefully on the leather couch. He bowed to her and then went to retrieve the rest of her belonging from the car.

“Where do you want this?” Angel nodded at the chair in his arms.

“Just leave it here for now. I imagine I’ll want it later.” Willow shrugged as she stared at the redecorated mansion. The last time she had seen the place had been after Angelus had been sucked into hell and she and Giles had returned to destroy the statue of Acathla. The place had been very dark and spartan, Angelus hadn’t believed in comfort. Now the huge front room where Buffy and Angelus had fought was lit with numerous lamps and stuffed full of comfortable furniture. Although most of it was still black leather the place seemed more inviting. Angel placed the chair beside the couch and then headed into the ballroom that they had chosen to convert into a gym to drop off the therapy equipment he still carried. They had arranged to have a physical therapist come to the house to treat Willow.

As Angel was finding a place to store the therapy ball Spike entered with the mats which he proceeded to arrange in the center of the room. Angel watched covertly as Spike bent to his task giving his sire a wonderful view of his firm ass encased in the black jeans he wore.

“Stop staring and give me a bloody hand mate!” Spike glanced over his shoulder at the older vampire and wriggled his ass slightly. “If you’re good later I might let you touch.”

“Let?! Since when have I needed your permission boy?” Angel swatted at Spike as he joined him in arranging the mats.

“Since you got that soul Peaches.” Spike reminded him gleefully. That was one aspect of the soul that Spike actually appreciated. After Darla had returned sex with Angelus had never been anything less than a cruel torture for him. He expected that their loving now would be more like the old days when he had first been turned. Spike was the first to admit that a little pain was a great turn on but he found that he enjoyed the tenderness Angel used to show.

“Bloody hell! What about Willow?” Spike’s heart tightened at the thought that listening to him and his sire flirt and possibly (hopefully) enjoy each other might cause her to remember the rape and harm her emotional stability once again.

“I’ll be fine.” Spike’s answer came from a soft voice near the door. Willow had maneuvered herself into her wheelchair and started exploring the ground floor of the house. She had found the kitchen surprisingly modern and the library fully stocked with the necessary occult reading. She had then gone to find Spike and Angel and had overheard the last part of their conversation.

“Are you sure? We could switch rooms…” Angel offered not wanting to cause the redhead anymore pain.

“No. Really. It might even help to remember that other people enjoy themselves that way all the time. What happened to me wasn’t okay but someday I might want to have that sort of relationship again and knowing that you two are enjoying each other will help me heal that part of me that is still hurting.” Willow’s answer was firm and her voice didn’t waver. She was aware enough now of her emotional pain to be able to deal with it rationally and start the process of healing.

Two weeks ago when Dr. Kent had proposed treating Willow as normally as possible Spike had his doubts. After all he felt Willow deserved a bit of sympathy for everything she had gone through although he could see that approach wasn’t helping her resolve anything. So he had reluctantly gone along with the plan. That first night Giles had requested her help with some research. Although she had been upset during the session she had also shown the first flash of the old Willow. Over the next couple of days the nurses reported that as they asked her to do things for herself her emotional blankness was weakening. She actually asked to get out of bed and go for a walk outdoors later that week. Angel had deliberately brooded in her presence and she had responded by getting angry at him and lecturing him at length about what was and wasn’t his responsibility. And then she had broken down and admitted that she wasn’t really angry with him but was angry with the men who had hurt her. Willow had never really hated anyone before. She had despised Angelus but he was a demon, she was already conditioned to hate them, she hadn’t hated Spike or Dru. She’d actually been touched when she realized how long Spike had cared for Dru and vice-versa. Her anger and hate for those men was making her feel extremely guilty. Once she got that out into the open Angel was able to set her straight that she shouldn’t feel guilty for natural human emotions anymore than he should feel guilty for the things Angelus had done. Xander had shown up later that night with a Willie Nelson CD and a heartbroken expression. Willow got him to admit that he still cared for Cordelia but couldn’t see how she would ever want him again. That encounter led Willow to start examining her feelings for Spike and her fear that she would now repulse him or that she would be frightened of him in a sexual way. And when Buffy had come by yesterday with crossbow, arrows, fletching supplies and feathers in her hair Willow had actually giggled for the first time. She was far from completely healed but her emotional blankness had been broken. Now she was Willow again although extremely subdued and quiet.

“…moaner.” Angel finished grinning at Spike. Willow arched an eyebrow at him.

“You are?” She asked curiously.

“What?”

“Angel said you were a moaner…are you?” She asked again her expression carefully innocent.

“Bloody wanker.” Spike growled under his breath turning away from his sire. An arm suddenly slipped around his waist and he was pressed up against the hard contours of his sire’s chest and pelvis. A tongue flicked his earlobe and he groaned.

“See I told you.” Angel released Spike grinning at the furious expression on his childe’s face. Willow placed a hand over her mouth to hide her giggles as Spike reached for Angel and began to chase him when Angel dodged. Living here was going to be good for her she decided.


	5. Chapter 5

“Hello? Anyone here?” A strange masculine voice from downstairs caused Willow to jump slightly. She shook her head and went back to her typing, it was probably just one of Spike’s movies turned up too loud. Since she had moved in with them a week ago Willow had come to think of the house as her home and Angel and Spike as her extremely older brothers. Thanks to Giles she had her computer and most of her things from her parent’s house and plenty of work to keep her occupied. Spike and Angel had remodeled the upper part of the house so that they shared a double bedroom at the end off the hall although as far as she could tell they still hadn’t gotten to the point of sharing a single bed. She had a second double room across from them. The first room was her bedroom and living area and the second was her study with her computers and books. She had her own bathroom as well which was equipped for a handicap person. She jumped again as she heard Spike call her from the front hall. Saving her work she wheeled herself out of the study and into the upper hall. Looking over the banister she saw Spike and another man standing near the front door.

“What do you need?” Willow called down to him. Spike looked up and motioned for her to come down.

“This is Seamus, he’s your PT guy. Remember? Your sessions are supposed to start tonight.”

Willow pulled back in dismay. She remembered now that Spike mentioned it. She had gone for a checkup with Dr. Kent yesterday and he had seemed pleased with the amount of healing her body had done. The swelling in her spine was gone and the bullet, although still inside her, was simply pressing on the outer fluid sack and hadn’t severed the cord at all. Willow was already starting to notice sensation returning to her legs and lower body. She had noticed this at first because she had been watching Spike and Angel curled up together on the couch reading some book when she had felt a familiar tingle arch through her body. That was her first indication that she was healing in more ways than one. But Dr. Kent hadn’t said anything about her therapist being male; although she could see the rationale of that once she thought about it. This was a man that wasn’t going to be threatening to her since he was here in an official capacity and yet he was going to have to be very intimate with her body. Apparently Dr. Kent had decided to kill two birds with one stone. As she wheeled herself to the elevator Angel had installed at the far end of the hallway Willow searched through herself. By the time she arrived at the ground floor she had decided that she was ready to enter this new therapy and had to admit that it was time to allow herself to fully heal.

She wheeled herself over to the two men noting as she did that Spike had a concerned expression. He was obviously wondering if she would be okay with a strange man working with her. She smiled to let him know that she was okay with everything. She came to a stop in front of Seamus and extended her hand.

“Hello.”

“Hello Ms. Rosenberg, although I would prefer to call you Willow if I may?” He waited until she nodded and then continued. “So my name is Seamus and I will be your physical therapist tonight. Would you care to show me the gym?” He extended an arm and waited until Willow, laughing, hooked hers through it and guided him to the gym. Spike watched them go his heart feeling much lighter than it had in previous weeks as he listened to her laughter.

\-----------------------

“Dammit!” Willow swore as she bumped into the coffee table, knocking over the crystal lamp and sending a wave of agony through her lower body. She stifled a yelp and collapsed into a nearby chair. She dropped her crutches onto the floor and buried her face in her hands allowing herself to let her tears flow. A month had passed since Willow had started physical therapy with Seamus. According to both him and Dr. Kent she was progressing much quicker than expected. Once she had gotten the cast off her wrist Seamus had started working with her and crutches. Insisting that since she could once again feel her legs she should be able to move them he took her wheelchair away and replaced it with two steel crutches. It had taken several sessions before Willow could even balance on them and afterwards she cried from the painful cramps that wracked her legs as her muscles were forced into use again. Spike had been wonderful. He helped with all her therapy and massaged her legs when the cramps became overwhelming. However he was also unyielding in his determination that she was not going to fall back into her previous depression and she also was not going to miss her exercises due to a little discomfort. One thing Willow would admit was that Seamus had put all of her fears of men to rest.

About the third week that he worked with her he had picked her up out of the wheelchair and placed her on the mat and then stretched out beside her. She had instantly tensed. Then she caught sight of Spike leaning against the doorjamb and relaxed knowing that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Seamus had noticed her tension and relaxation and its source. He had casually asked Spike to go fetch him something from the car. Spike had complied leaving Willow completely alone with a strong, virile man for the first time since her rape. Seamus had gone through a series of exercises ignoring the fact that she was stiff as a board and trembling. Eventually her body had relaxed since there was only so long one can continue to panic. The second she relaxed Seamus had leaned over and kissed her full on the lips. He was a great expert at kissing and she had found that she enjoyed the experience. He had pulled away and grinned at her and then continued to teach her the exercises necessary for the strengthening of her legs. It was then that Willow realized that she wasn’t going to fear men for the rest of her life. She found that her feelings for men would return and that there was no shame or fear necessary in such feelings. She did not agree with Seamus’s other decision to take away her wheelchair completely and force her to use the crutches.

There was a creak of leather and then a heavy body settled on the chair next to her. A pair of cool arms encircled her and held her while she gave in to her pain and weariness and sobbed.

“Hush pet. It’ll be all right.” Spike murmured as he stroked her hair and let her cry. Angel had warned him that she was close to a breaking point that morning and so Spike had made a point of being close by all day. Angel admitted that he was baffled by Seamus’s insistence on moving her to crutches this soon when she was still obviously in pain from her injuries. He had expected that Spike would agree with him and was shocked when Spike shook his head and sided with Seamus.

“Remember sire, I know what she’s going through. If she doesn’t use those muscles every day she’ll never get them strong again. The pain is a good sign. It means that the muscles are getting stronger. Every day there will be a little less pain until one day she’ll swing her legs over the side of the bed and manage to stand up to go to the bathroom without needing a crutch.” Spike explained as he turned his face away from Angel; a strong hand had cupped his chin and turned his face so that he was staring Angelus right in the eyes. Angel had raised his other hand to wipe the lone tear that had escaped while Spike recalled what it had been like recovering from his injuries after the fire in the church.

“And I didn’t make it any easier did I?” Angel grimaced remembering his harsh treatment of his childe after he lost his soul.

“In a way you did. Because I hated you so much I pushed myself all the harder and I healed a lot faster than I would have if you weren’t there.” Spike reached up to lay a hand over the one cupping his chin.

“And that’s why you push Willow.” Angel had nodded his understanding and kept his mouth shut about the rest of Seamus’s decisions.

“It’s too hard Spike. It hurts too much. Please let me go back to the wheelchair.” Willow whispered as pathetically as she could hoping that the blond vampire’s feelings for her would make him pity her enough to overrule Seamus in that decision.

“Sorry pet. Can’t do that. If you go back to the chair you’ll keep finding excuses not to work harder and get back to where you were. I won’t let you quit.” Spike let her go as she jerked back from him and glared at him with hurt filled eyes.

“Sorry. Didn’t realize I was such a burden to you. I should have realized that you would want me better as soon as possible so that you can get me out of your house.” She began to struggle to her feet. Spike let her fight her way up not offering any assistance as she nearly fell again. She reclaimed her crutches and began to limp towards the stairs.

“You could pick up the lamp you knocked over.” He hated having to say those words but he knew that if she didn’t get used to acting normally she wouldn’t ever get her strength back. Willow whipped around and lost her balance. She fell heavily to the hardwood floor and Spike had to hide a wince as he imagined the bruise that she would have on her hip later. He had to fight with himself to keep from running over and lifting her from the floor and taking her upstairs to tuck into bed. Instead he crossed to where she was sitting on the floor trying not to cry and silently offered her one of her crutches. She glared at him again and dragged herself to her feet.

“I hate you.” She snarled at him as weeks of pent up frustration and anger flooded her senses. “You are probably getting off on my pain. You always did pick on me to hurt, you kidnapped me, threatened me with a broken bottle, tried to bite me and now you are laughing at my pain!” Her voice had risen as she let him have it. Spike didn’t move and didn’t answer her accusations. Willow limped over to the stairs and started to work her way up them. Spike shadowed her in case she should lose her balance again. Willow didn’t say anything until they reached the top of the steps. She turned to face him and pushed at him with the tip of one crutch.

“Get away from me. I don’t want you to touch me or be near me any more. Leave me alone!” With the final word she shoved hard enough to knock him several steps backward and overbalanced him so that he missed his footing and began to fall down the steps. He saved himself from a second stint in a wheelchair only by grabbing the banister. What hurt the most was that Willow hadn’t even checked to see if he was all right before she turned and stormed off into her room. The sound of the slamming door echoed through the house. Angel poked his head out from his room where he was napping.

“Willow? Spike? Everything okay?” Angel raised an eyebrow at his childe. Spike mutely shook his head as he forced himself to choke back tears. Angelus swore under his breath and reached out to grab his childe and crush him to his chest. Spike gave in as he felt his sire’s strong arms encircle him and Angelus’ broad hands began to caress his back. Angelus picked up his weeping childe and carried him into his room. He lay down on the bed keeping his tight hold on Spike.

“Tell Daddy what’s wrong.” Angel hoped that his teasing tone would calm Spike enough to end the crying.

“She hates me.” Spike’s reply was muffled since his face was buried in Angel’s chest but his sire heard him.

“She’s just mad at you for pushing her. She knows it’s for her own good. She’ll settle down once she had a chance to think about it.”

“Hate hurting her. Want to hold her, tell her it’s okay, protect her…love her.” Spike’s rambling trailed off as he took a great gulp of unnecessary air. Angel continued to stroke his back.

“Will you accept me as a poor substitute?” Angel lifted Spike’s face to look at him and place a gentle kiss on his lips. Spike’s eyes showed his initial uncertainty, which was instantly smothered by a decades denied longing. Instead of answering verbally Spike leaned against Angel’s chest and tilted his head back until he could lick and nip at his sire’s neck. Angel purred deep in his throat and his hands reached down to cup Spike’s ass and press his hip into the smaller vampire’s groin. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

\------------------

"Goddamn vampire!" Willow swore as she stormed into her room after shoving Spike from the top of the steps. She had turned away before she saw whether he fell or not but she hoped he had, hoped he'd broken something on the way down.

She smiled ferally as she pictured his perfect cheekbones shattered as he hit the banister on the way down. Her grin faded as she realized what she was picturing.

Her legs chose that moment to buckle underneath her. She grabbed for the chair near her desk and missed. She landed hard on her hip and elbow. She bit back the cry of pain that threatened to break out of her lips but she wasn't able to stop the tears that started to trickle slowly down her cheeks. She lay on the floor near her bed unable to stand or crawl onto it. She curled her arms around herself as her body shook with the force of her silent sobs.

It wasn't fair she told herself. After all the Initiative did to her she had expected sympathy, concern, pity even from her friends. Instead they all seemed determined to ignore what had happened and go on as if everything was normal. But it wasn't, for her. Angel and Spike should have realized that since she was living in their home and they were witness to her painful rehabilitation. One would think that they would be sympathetic to her pain and would give her a hand every once in a while. But Spike never gave her a moment's rest, he was always at her to work harder, to pick her glass up from the table and bring it to the sink.

He wouldn't help her pick up a lamp when she knocked it over; he simply handed her the dustpan and watched while she crouched on the floor with her legs shaking with cramps.

Why was he being so mean? She wondered about that for a minute her logical mind forcing its way through the jumble of her emotions to analyze the situation. Her sobs lessened as a fragment of a book she had once read flitted through her mind. She struggled to remember it.

She had been reading her mother's medical books a few years ago when she had first met Buffy, her mother thought she was interested in becoming a doctor when in fact she was trying to learn some skills that might help save Buffy if an enemy managed to munch on her. There had been a section on spinal chord injuries that she had gotten intrigued by for a while. If she remembered correctly there was a mention that the physical therapists who worked with these patients had to be careful since the patients would often come to hate their therapists when they were pushed to heal. In fact it was suggested that they routinely take a rotation with other therapists so that the patient wouldn't avoid exercises just to spite the therapist.

Willow sat up suddenly as something else she had read clicked into place. Muscle injuries were supposed to heal faster and more completely if the muscles were worked to exhaustion every day. While the patient slept the muscles would build themselves up using the stored energy from the day. In fact therapists were encouraged to push their patients as much as possible to affect the quickest cure.

Willow could see the logic in that but Seamus hadn't really been pushing her as hard as the books suggested. He also hadn't rotated her through any of the other therapists.

A conversation she had overheard between Seamus and Spike was starting to make sense now. Seamus had been telling Spike that he couldn't see asking another therapist to take her sessions since she was still very nervous and tense around men and the other therapists that he rotated with were all men. Willow realized now that the fear of bringing back the emotions of the rape had kept Seamus from pushing her as hard as he needed to. In fact Spike was the one who started pushing her until she wanted to scream at him.

The last of her tears dried up as she realized that Spike had known what Seamus needed to do and why he couldn't. She frowned again remembering that Spike himself was well aware of what had to be done if one wanted to walk again. She also remembered that he had told Buffy that he had practiced walking in secret so that he could overthrow Angelus, probably the reason he had recovered so quickly.

And now he was pushing and goading her not out of any sense of sadism but out of concern for her. Which was probably the reason that she was out of the chair and walking on her own again so soon that it had surprised Dr. Kent.

Willow hung her head and groaned. She was an idiot. And she had behaved very badly to Spike. She really needed to go and apologize to him. She grabbed the side of the bed and dragged herself to her feet gathering up her crutches and forcing herself to ignore the dull aching in her legs. She grimily clenched her teeth and crutched her way to the door and stepped out into the hallway turning to head for Spike's room.

A low moan from Angel's room stopped her. She heard Spike groan again and she was flooded with guilt. What if he really had gotten hurt when she shoved him down the stairs? She moved as silently as possible towards the room feeling more guilty every time she heard a moan or groan from Spike. Angel was probably trying to patch him up from the sounds of rustling and thumping that were accompanying the groaning. Her hand was already on the doorknob when she heard Angel's voice groaning along with his childe's. The knowledge of exactly what was going on behind that closed door hit Willow with all the intensity of a truckload of bricks. Her hand didn't get the message however and continued to turn the knob. The door swung open silently.

Spike and Angelus were face to face with the younger vampire kneeling on the bed while the elder stood next to it pressed against him. They were both naked and sweating, bathed in the afterglow of sex. Angelus had his fangs imbedded in Spike's neck while the blonde vampire was clinging to his sire's wrist sucking the dark blood from his sire. Willow watched transfixed as Spike released his sire's wrist and nuzzled his face into his sire's broad chest. Willow dragged in a lungful of air when spots began to dance in front of her eyes warning her that she had stopped breathing while she stared at the two naked men in front of her. She shut her mouth with a snap and whimpered quietly deep in her throat as she saw the two men that she loved pressed against each other in perfect contentment.

She saw Spike tense as he tested the air and caught her scent. Two sets of amber eyes jerked in her direction.

"Willow…"

\--------------------

Willow stood frozen in place as sire and childe pulled away from each other. Angel moved back from the bed as Spike threw a leg over the edge and moved to stand next to his sire. Willow couldn’t help noticing what a pair they made – light and dark. She also realized that Spike definitely wasn’t a natural blonde.

The realization of exactly where she was staring caused a fierce blush to cover her face. She ducked her head forcing herself to look away from the two men in front of her. She began to stammer an apology.

“S..sorry for interrupting.” She swung around intending to rush back to her room and lock her door until the incident could be forgotten but her legs turned traitor on her again and buckled.

Spike and Angel both reacted with vampric speed when they saw her start to fall. Angel grabbed her left arm as Spike grabbed her right arm keeping her upright. Willow leaned into the support they offered.

She began to blush again when she realized that she was pressed against two cold, hard naked bodies. She tried to pull her arms from their grasp but neither one was letting go. She squirmed trying to free herself but froze when she heard twin growls emanate from her supporters.

“Don’t bloody well do that pet.” Spike groaned trying to control his instinctive reaction to her struggles. He felt himself growing hard again as the little witch moved against him.

“Willow…” Angel groaned as he too was affected by the proximity of the redhead.

Willow risked a glance at their faces noting that both had shifted halfway to demon and that each was biting the inside of his lip. She immediately dropped her eyes back down only to be confronted with the evidence of their arousal.

“What was it you wanted little one?” Angel almost purred as he spoke to her, he could smell her fear and her arousal rising in the air around them. “J..just wanted to say sorry to Spike.” Willow mumbled from behind the curtain of her hair. Suddenly she firmed her jaw and straightened her head, turning so that she could look into Spike’s ice blue eyes. “Look, I know what you are trying to do and I wanted to say thank you.”

“What’s that pet?” Spike looked shocked as he remembered the anger burning in the redhead earlier.

“You just want me to get stronger and you are pushing me so I won’t give up…I should have remembered that you of all people would know what I had to do to be strong again.” Willow continued to hold her gaze steady, her voice was firm even though her legs were still trembling.

“Forgiven pet.” Spike ducked his head and kissed her chastely on the forehead. She smiled. Then the smile crumbled as she remembered what she had seen when she walked into the room. Tears threatened to fill her eyes as she realized that she was losing Spike to Angel. < Why do all the men I love leave me? >

“Leave you pet?” Spike asked totally confused. Willow jumped not realizing that she had spoken the words aloud. “Love pet?"

“Yes love you stupid vampire!!” Willow snapped, the pain and anger that she had been feeling the past months overriding everything else for the moment. “I even told you when…” she faltered “when Walsh shot me. And now you are with him.” She turned to face Angel her eyes burning with fury. “And you! Leave Sunnydale without a word! Don’t say goodbye or thanks for the soul Willow; no explanation for my fish. I remember how you looked at other me…and I thought maybe Angelus had wanted…but then there was a soul and Buffy and now him!” She wrenched her arms out of their grasp and stood there trembling with her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes sparkled with rage and tears. Neither vampire thought she had ever looked so beautiful.

“Pet. I do love you. I told you that night too remember? But after what happened with the soldiers I didn’t want to push you, hurt you. Tonight you pushed me away, I didn’t think you wanted me anymore.” Spike stroked the witch’s hair with a hand that trembled slightly. “I love you Red.”

“Willow, I didn’t know. When I left Sunnydale it was partly to get away from you…” Angel began before Willow cut him off.

“I already know that I drive men away, you don’t have to push the knife in deeper!” She whirled to leave and Spike shot a glance full of daggers at his sire. Angelus growled and snagged the redhead’s arm pulling her around so that she was plastered against his chest.

“Listen Willow! When Angelus was free he was consumed with the need to destroy the Slayer…but he was also consumed with the need to have you. I didn’t understand it then but after Vamp Willow came to visit I realized he was sensing your power, the darkness of your soul that you keep in check…and he wanted it. When I came back from hell you were the only one who could look at me and not see Janna’s killer. You were my only friend. And then that night that I saw Vamp Willow at the Bronze and I thought that I had lost you…when I saw you at the library I realized something. I was falling in love with you.”

“You love the Slayer not me.” Willow stated clearly.

“No. I wanted the Slayer, in some way I thought her innocence would redeem me, she didn’t love me either. It was lust, passion, hormones whatever but it wasn’t real love. You were the one I loved. So I had to leave before I did something stupid and lost the soul again or lost the only friend I’d had in two hundred years. You even brought my childe back to me.” Angel finally let her pull away from his chest. She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

“I never knew. I love you too Angel.” She reached up a hand and caressed his cheek gently. “But what about…” she gestured between the two vampires her blush making it obvious what she meant.

“He’s my sire, the first and the only man I have ever loved.” Spike reached out and placed a hand against Angel’s chest.

“He’s mine and I am his.” Angel reached out a hand and covered the one resting on his chest with his own.

“And you are ours.” They both turned to Willow reaching out with their free hands to grasp hers. Willow hesitated only slightly before reaching out to join their hands. They pulled her towards them until she was crushed between two hard male bodies in a way that was so intimate that she forgot to breathe.

Her mind was going a mile a minute remembering some long forgotten facts that helped to make all of this seem sensible. According to her physics teacher a tripod is the most stable configuration in nature. A three-sided column will bear more weight per square inch than a square one. An equilateral triangle is the prime geometric shape and in Ireland where Angel was from the Celtic love knot had three strands braided together.

Spike and Angel shared a glance over the top of Willow’s head. Angel nodded and Spike bent to whisper in their witch’s ear.

“Red? You believe us don’t you? That we love you?” Willow hesitated before she nodded but Spike could feel the tension in her body that spoke more clearly than words that she was still afraid they would pull away from her. Willow gasped when the cold body behind her pulled out of their embrace. She desperately tried to shutter her heart against the pain she knew was going to follow when Spike told her that as much as he loved her she wasn’t what he needed in his life. When Angel pulled away too she felt as if her heart was bleeding. She couldn’t lose both of them at the same time. That was too cruel. Spike swept her up into his arms ignoring the startled yelp that she gave and carried her to the bed where Angel had turned back the covers to reveal black silk sheets.

Spike held her close to his chest as Angel untied her sneaker and drew off her socks. He shifted her in his arms until her legs where dangling in the air as Angel unzipped her jeans and slid them down her legs. She moaned as she felt the cold caress of his broad hands over her hips and across her thighs. Spike shifted again to give Angel access to her shirt. She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out when Angel’s cold fingers came into contact with her nipples, which tightened instantly. He unbuttoned her shirt with care and then lifted one arm at a time out of the sleeves until she rested in Spike’s arms naked except for her matching green silk bra and panties.

Angel bent his head and kissed her gently on the lips. She moaned against his mouth trying to push towards him, needing to feel him in her mouth. He pulled away to let Spike place her gently on the bed. She lay in the center of the black sheets with her fiery hair fanned around her face. Both vampires sucked in unneeded breathe as they gazed at the perfection that was Willow.

Willow whimpered at the loss of contact with the vampires and shifted restlessly on the bed. The feel of cool silk against her skin was driving her insane. Spike sniffed the air reassuring himself that the little witch really wanted them. The scent of her arousal was so strong that he believed a mortal would have been able to smell it. Angel slid onto the bed near Willow’s feet and began to place small kisses along the length of her legs. He would start at the ankles and slowly move his way up to her thighs and then back down. Willow arched every time he hit the apex of her thighs trying to drive him closer to her aching center.

Spike watched his sire as he crawled up the length of the bed. He’d always thought of his sire as a dark panther with that elusive grace that all predators seem to share. The image was never more appropriate than at that moment.

“Spike!” Willow reached out for the blonde vampire still standing next to the bed. She wanted to feel him against her. He smiled at the open need in her voice and moved towards the bed stopping close to her head. Kneeling on the side of the bed he began to trail kisses along the pale column of her neck moving up to taste the tender flesh of her earlobe. Willow moaned and arched off the bed as both vampires continued to kiss and lick their way across her body but never touch the areas still covered by green silk. She stiffened as a cold finger began to trace the curve of her breast while another one drifted along the waistband of her panties. She opened her eyes in time to see a blonde head ducking towards her right breast at the same time as a dark head moved towards her left breast. She screwed her eyes tightly shut and reached up her hands to twine her fingers into their hair. Both men allowed their demons to slip forwards so that they could pierce the fabric of Willow’s bra. Using their fangs they each shredded the area around her nipples so that the rosy peaks came fully into view. They allowed the demons to recede as each began to lick and caress the sensitive peaks with their cool tongues.

Willow gasped and tightened her grip on their hair trying to push them closer to her aching teats. Spike complied and took the rosy peak into his mouth. Willow moaned as he twirled his tongue around the nipple while keeping up a gentle sucking pressure. Angelus allowed his teeth to elongate and brushed the sharp edges against her other nipple. Willow cried out at the mixture of pleasure and slight pain the two men were giving her.

Angel swept his fangs across the nipple until it was red and sore from the repeated rubbing. Then he took it into his mouth and twirled his tongue across the angry redness soothing it with his cold tongue. He groaned when he tasted blood, he must have broken the skin at some point. He tried to pull away but Willow held him in place.

“Taste me.” She sighed to both vampires. Spike tore his head away from her breast and looked at her with lust crazed eyes.

“You sure pet?”

“Taste me!” She demanded forcing his head back down. Neither man needed another invitation. Willow cried out as two pairs of fangs sunk into her body. She had been bitten before but it had always been a painful experience except the times Spike had marked her managing to be drunk and unconscious both times; now as each vampire slid his teeth into her flesh she was wracked with the most intense pleasure she had ever felt. She felt the tightening in her womb that signaled her release. She screamed as one of the vampires let his cold fingers drift across her throbbing clit. Angel froze when the redhead came. He could taste her orgasm in her blood and he had to struggle for a moment to keep the demon from draining her

His blonde childe had also frozen locked in the same struggle as his sire. When Willow stopped shuddering and went limp from the force of her orgasm both men carefully withdrew their fangs from her and shared a deep kiss across her body. Willow watched as her lovers kissed, her blood smeared on their mouths. She felt herself grow wet and she ached for them to be inside her. She released her grip on Spike’s hair and pushed his head down towards her panties.

“You two had each other earlier. My turn now.” The vampires chuckled at the demanding tone of their mate.

“Yes dear.” They chorused. Spike moved down her body and settled himself between her thighs. Angel continued to stroke her breasts with his tongue and to trace swirling patterns on the tender skin of her stomach with his fingers. Willow arched and moaned as Spike trailed his cold fingers along the inside of her thighs. He stroked her clit through the silk of her panties smiling when she moaned again and thrust upwards. He slid his fingers under the waistband of the panties and slowly drew them down to her hips. She bit back a cry when she arched her hips to allow him to draw her panties down her legs.

“Pet?” Spike suddenly remembered that she had been complaining about her back bothering her earlier in the day. “We can stop if you’re hurting…” Spike trailed off as the witch glared at him desire turning her eyes almost black so great was her need. He shook his head and bent down to flick his tongue across her clit. She cried out and grabbed for his head with her hands. He continued to flick his tongue across her clit until she was writhing beneath him gasping his name and begging him for more. Willow screamed as she felt his cool lips close around her clit at the same time that a cold finger slid inside of her. Spike sucked and twirled his tongue around her clit as the finger moved slowly in and out just barely brushing her g-spot. Willow twisted wildly on the bed trying to drive Spike’s hand further inside of her.

Angel grinned against her breast, she didn’t realize yet that it was his finger inside of her driving her insane. He shared a secret glance with his childe. Angel added a second finger to Willow’s cunt as Spike began to nip at her clit with his blunt teeth. As Angel felt her begin to tense around him he nodded to Spike who smeared a finger with her juices and then slid a finger into her ass past the tight ring of muscle. Willow screamed out their names as she came her whole body jerking with the force of her orgasm. Spike swallowed deeply as her juices flooded his mouth.

When she fell back on the bed he drew his finger out of her ass and pulled his mouth away from her clit. He reached up and shared another deep kiss with his sire letting the older vampire taste Willow on his mouth. Willow watched then as Angel held up fingers dripping with her juices for Spike to clean. She blushed when she realized that both vampires had been instrumental in pleasing her. Before Willow had time to tense up again Spike had shifted until his prick was pressed against her opening. He swiftly bent his head capturing her mouth as he plunged inside of her. To his surprise she arched up to meet him as he slammed down into her. < _Little_ _witch likes it hard._ >

He felt Angel move behind him as he slammed down into the witch again. Two cold hands spread his asscheeks before he felt Angel’s thick cock entering him. Willow watched fascinated as Angel slid into Spike forcing him to slide into her. She arched up to meet Spike pushing him back against Angel. Spike groaned as he felt himself pressed between his two lovers. Angel and Willow were controlling the whole thing both of them pushing him in either direction while he was lost in a sea of pleasure. Angel sped up the rhythm of his thrusts as he felt his childe tensing around him.

He knew Spike was about to cum and he wanted to make sure that all three of them came together. Willow arched up wildly as she felt her womb tense in anticipation of another orgasm. Angelus growled, his demon face sliding on as his balls tightened and he shot his cold seed into his childe’s ass. He dropped his head to Spike’s neck and bit down savagely welcoming the taste of his childe’s dark blood. Spike roared as his sire bit him and his own orgasm raced through his body. His demon also slipped forward and he sank his fangs into the witch’s breast. Willow came screaming her lovers names as Spike bit into her.

She reached up and dragged both of them closer to her until she could reach Angel’s neck. She sank her blunt teeth into his cold flesh as her orgasm wracked her body for the third time that evening. Angel’s eyes flashed as the mortal’s teeth broke his skin. When Willow released him Angel rolled off to one side of her while Spike rolled to the other. They both threw an arm across her body.

“Mine.” Spike whispered nuzzling Willow’s neck and grasping his sire’s hand.

“Mine.” Angel growled sucking on Willow’s nipple and tightening his hold on Spike’s fingers.

“Mine.” Willow sighed as she kissed first one vampire and then the other. The three lay curled around each other as they all fell into a contented sleep.

\-------------------------

Willow slowly opened her eyes and stretched, yawning as she came fully awake. < _Man, that was some dream_.  > She could almost feel her body tingling from the caresses of the two vampires in her dreams. She rolled over to get out of bed and bumped into something. Something cold, hard and definitely male.

“Oh goddess.” Willow’s eyes traveled the length of the chest she currently had her nose pressed against. < _Angel_ > She reached a hand out behind her and felt another cold, hard masculine chest. < _Spike_ > She started to shake. < _It wasn’t a dream. Oh goddess I’ve made such a fool of myself._ > They didn’t seem to be awake so Willow cautiously raised her head to peek over the edge of Angel’s ribcage. She slowly slid out from under the covers and raised herself on all fours in preparation to climbing over Angel and forgetting that this night had ever happened.

She squeaked in shock as two arms were thrown across her back and she was pinned to the bed. She gasped as a pair of amber eyes glared at her.

“Going somewhere pet?” She twisted her head desperate to escape Spike’s glare and found herself staring into another pair of amber eyes.

“Leaving so soon?” Angelus’ sardonic baritone asked her.

“I was just going to…going to…” She struggled to find the right words.

“Run off before we could shag you again?” Suggested Spike from behind her. Willow shook her head frantically.

“N..no..I was just going to leave before you woke up and realized that you regretted everything and had to try to explain to me and…” Angel put an end to her rambling by pressing his lips to hers. As Angel kissed her Spike leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

“We don’t regret anything pet. And you aren’t going anywhere.” He began to nibble on her neck. From the hardness poking her in the small of the back and resting against her thigh she knew that neither vampire was lying; they wanted her. And she wanted them. The thin wall that had remained around Willow’s heart since Oz left trembled in the face of the overwhelming love from the two vampires.

It trembled and then it broke leaving her heart free to return their love. Willow sighed and burrowed into their arms. She nuzzled each neck in turn and then settled back down to sleep the first totally relaxed sleep since she had been captured.

As the tiny, flame haired mortal slept two evil demons kept watch, their unbeating hearts full of love for each other and the gentle girl who had brought them all together.

**_Finis_ **


End file.
